its jus abt mi n you..

2009-07-25T18:43:00.000+08:00

its a sat..
off day..
hahahas..

hav got nth much to do today..
waiting time to pass n gonna go out later..
going shop for some stuffs n watch movie..
its been long since i last watch movie le sia..

watching fighting later..
hope its a nice show..
going over to ion to find yvonne oso..
gonna try the ice cream she intro..
saying its veri veri nice..
so it better gotta be nice..
if not she is gonna get it from mi..
wahahahas..

gonna go off soon le i tink..
wait for my come back for updates again lohx..
:)

2009-07-24T08:49:00.002+08:00

hi ppl..
im back again.. :)
jus finish work not long ago..
was feeling veri tired jus now..
but not anymore now le..

for the past few day almost everyday..
i would c my ex..
hav grown up n looking so diff from the past..
not sure if she did c mi anot or she was avoiding away..
n got to noe tat 2 of my ex both got married le..
n both hav got their kids le..
can c tat they r quite happy wif their life now..
feel so happy for them..
but having start a family shld be quite difficult for them..
but still i believe they can do it n bring up their child well..
all the best to them n wishes them happy oways..

as for mi..
im jus gonna stay single till i found the correct 1 for mi..
its hard to find..
but i will try..
wish mi good luck alright..
for now i shall jus focus on work n earn more money to save for future use..

gonna go slp soon le i tink..
will be back for updates again..

2009-07-23T08:22:00.002+08:00

hi ppl..
im back to blogging again..
its been real long i last blog le..
i wonder if anyone still does bother viewing anot..
but even if no one reads..
it serves as a place for mi to flip thru for memories..

been working in the nite for quite a long time le..
din rly hav much time to spend using com..
so pardon for tis long break for those hu does read..
will be updating more frequently from now on..

gonna go slp soon le..
shld be back again soon alrite..
:)

2009-02-06T03:24:00.002+08:00

feeling kinda regret for some tings tat r done..
din noe tat tings could turn out tis way..
jus wanted tings to be good..
hopefully nth will happen from all tis..

u guys muz be tinking wat is it all abt..
its abt bike & everything..
i tried to do my best for my frens..
not wanting them to waste money..
so went to help them find a good bike wif out having to spend too much..
but im now kinda regret finding tat bike for him..

i tot he would noe his own limits..
not to play till too over hardcore..
but gus im wrong abt it..
okie..
i noe tat everyone will be curious abt wat the ting can do..
but at least do ride it a little longer & get the actual feel of it first b4 doing anything..
not like getting it for jus a few days & is already trying its to its top..

maybe some will say tat im less exprience so i dun hav the rite to say ppl..
ya maybe u all r rite..
i might hav less exprience den alot of ppl ard..
but the tings i hav gone thru & tried out..
tings which i hav exprience maybe even b4 u hav done so..
tings which i noe might even be more den u do..
but its all up to u to tink abt it & believe it..

hitting a max speed of nearly 270km/h..
entering a corner at the speed of nearly 150km/h..
doing multiple corners at the speed of nearly 80 to 90km/h constantly..
playing wif ppl wif out even tinking of wat would happen..
all tis exprience is already enuf for mi to hav the rite to say..

maybe ppl would tink all tis is all make up or wat..
its jus up to ppl to believe..
wat we hav done & tried onli shi xian & mi noe it best..
but no matter how skilful u r..
tings might not go the way u wan it to be..
even those professional motor gp riders do get into accidents too..
not tat im cursing u or wat..
but one ting tat is most impt & pls do rember it..
to hu ever tat would read tis post..
winning or losing does not rly matters..
most impt is..
winning urself is more impt den winning any other tings else..
wif out even winning urself..
there is no way u can win others..

rly feeling kinda regret now..
helping another 2 of my fren getting their bike..
now it makes mi hestiate on whether to help anot..
& the tings i hav taught them..
hope they will make use of it in a good way bahx..
*prays hard*

2009-01-21T06:33:00.002+08:00

ahhhhhhh..
jus got hm from work onli..
damn tired & shag lah..
blah..

fuck man..
kena put aeroplane by ppl..
& thks to him i finish 4 trips of cargo all by myself..
he jus such an ass lah..

currently waiting for my hair to dry up & off to bed i go..
gonna cut my hair short soon..
lazy to be oways waiting for it to dry..
waste my time slping..
hahas..

hmmmm..
other den all tis i gus there is nth more left to update abt bahx..
so im jus gonna stop it here den..

2009-01-19T03:50:00.002+08:00

back for updates..
but actually i hav got nth to update abt oso..
LOL!!!
dunno wat im talking abt too..

kinda miss weekends..
time jus seems to fly so fast during weekends..
suppose miting wh at noon ytd..
but he got something on so mit later..
woke up at ard 4..
slack & wasted abit of time at hm..
den head out to eat..
after tat not noeing where to go oso..

went to bedok jetty..
wanted to c ppl fishing..
but the jetty is close for upgrading..
wasted trip there..
head down to ps tinking of watching movie..
but none of the time slot is rite for us..
so give it all a miss..

went over to toa payoh to mit kenneth & gf..
went over to his gf place at woodlands first..
den head to pasir ris for prawning..
scam shi xian along the way..
& its successful..
prawn for 1 hr & we manage to catch 14 prawns..
hahas..
its like so much better lohx..
better den yvonne..
most of the catch was from mi n wh..

head to jalan kayu for supper after everything..
eat & talk for awhile den hm sweet hm..
but the journey back hm sucks..
the wind is so strong is is freaking cold lohx..
keep shiver thru out the whole journey back..

nth much to say after tat..
as for today..
tings r as usual lohx..
woke up eat & everything den off to work..
& everything for the upcoming few days will all be work oso..
so yea..
nth much to update oso..
except for CNY tat is coming soon..
but gus i will jus be staying hm tis yr bahx..
=] =]

2009-01-17T04:43:00.002+08:00

skip a post ytd nite..
was too tired to tink of anything to blog abt..
but still i din get to slp too..
waited till morning den went to coffeeshop for breakfast..

wake up & went to work as usual..
nth much to update actually oso..
after work mit up wif wen hui to eat..
ride ard & slack awhile den hm sweet hm..

but still..
dun tink i will be able to get to slp oso..
gonna stay up awhile more den try to get some slp bahx..

oh ya..
heard tat scammer is sick ar??
okie lahx..
since u r sick i shall give in to u..
stop calling u scammer for the time being..
but jus for the time being onli..
until u recover & it will be over..
LOL!!!
but anyway & seriously..
GET WELL SOON HOR..
hope to cya come out slack soon.. :)
take care & get well soon..

2009-01-15T03:45:00.003+08:00

lala lala lala lala..
im bored & i cant get to slp..
nth much to do oso..

although days now seems boring..
everyday oso work slp work slp..
but im happy wif wat it is now..

LOL!!!
dunno wat im talking abt oso..
jus being too random..
hahas..

2009-01-14T02:50:00.002+08:00

finally back from the whole day out..
feeling so tired now man..
gonna fall flat on bed soon..

woke up super early today lahx..
dunno y keep feel like vomiting..
went to the toilet but nth came out..
saw scammer online & chat wif her for awhile..
fall back on bed again till 2+..
suppose to wake up at 2 but i overslept..
faster settled everything & rush to bbdc..

& gus wat..
i fail the pract again lohx..
like wtf sia..
was so happy to c onli 18 points..
but was so sad when i saw 1 immediate..
if not for the immediate i would hav pass already..
tis pract is rly such a pain in my ass..

daphne fail again today too..
we both were so damn pissed off can..
its like how many times already..
had dinner tgt wif daphne at av there..
after which we both went to work..

as for the working part..
nth much will be said bahx..
cos its all boring stuff..

& scammer..
dun bluff lohx..
u did jus tat little bit onli..
its not alot..
hahas..
but ur art abit CMI lehx..
LOL!!!
& i FAIL AGAIN lahx..
f**k man..

2009-01-13T03:50:00.002+08:00

so tired & shag after a nite of work..
imagine 3 lorry full of goods..
& onli 3 person is working..
its like can die man..
but still hav gotta work lahx..
bo bian..

thoughts r going thru my mind for the whole day..
i dunno wat i shld do abt it either..
so i may nd the help of ppl ard to give mi some advise on it..

in the day my cousins came..
& they started a topic abt my tattoo..
most of them agreed tat if i wan ppl to tink tat im into art & not paikia..
i shld continue & finish up wats left on my left hand..
instead of leaving it like wat it is now making it seems even more paikia..
but some frens told mi not to continue it too..
some sort kinda confuse on wat is to be done sia..
anyone got any idea on wat i shld do??

as of today 13th jan..
13 more day to cny..
but still i hav yet to get my cny clothes..
dun rly hav the time & oso the money to get bahx..
maybe gonna give it a miss for tis year??
not sure wif it either..
shall decide when time comes bahx..

its already 4 by now..
& i hav to wake up at like 12 later..
less den 8 hrs of slp..
& tml nite is going to work again..
-.-
boring boring boring..
hahas..

tats abt all for today bahx..
gonna stop whinning & head off to bed..
nite to all the slping beauty hu r already aslp bahx..
=]

2009-01-12T04:11:00.002+08:00

once again at tis time im back here again..
jus dun seem to be able to slp recently..
& its even when im not working..
shit man..
rly getting outta control..
hahas..

did nth much today actually..
slept thru the afternoon till abt 4 i tink..
woke up by wh cal..
bath & change den left hm..
went to eat at redhill first den wnt ovr to telok blangah recce abit..
hahas..
head over to jack hm after tat..
help out abit on painting his rm..

went to amk hub rite after we finish the painting for ong bak 2..
hmmm..
rating for tis show isnt veri good..
it jus seems wierd i jus..
doesnt seems like ong bak 1 at all..
abit like not veri link to muay thai..
the whole show has mixture of all kinds of martial arts..
hahas..

on our way back..
wh for abt the speed cam at cte..
so he speed all the way..
but quickly break once the saw the cam..
hopefully din get snap bahx..

& tat all for today i gus..
seems like a boring sunday..
but still..
i jus love the life im having now..
so yea..
shldnt ask for too much ya..

been feeling kinda sad inside mi recently..
although i dun rly show it out to anyone..
but i jus dun feel good at all..
dunno how i shld explain everything out..
maybe onli yvonne will understand how my feelings r now bahx..
so since im oso not sure wif wats tat feeling now..
i shall jus take it as i dunno bahx..
as in dunno wats the actual reason over it too..
but its okie i gus..
shall not tink & let it bother wif my life..

for tis last part..
its to u noe hu u r..
been reading ur blog quite often recently..
& from all ur previous post..
its seems like u r leading a veri good & happy life now le..
its good tat u like the life tat u r having now & im happy for u too..
bcos im loving the life im having now too..
maybe the decision we made is nth but jus good for the both of us bahx..
may both of us lead a different but happy life in the years ahead..
hope & wishes the best for the both of us in watever tings we do in the future..
good luck for ur everything..
sincerely & wif love..
take good care of urself..
=]

2009-01-11T04:10:00.003+08:00

jus got back hm onli..
went downstairs to chat wif my frens..
so good of them to come find mi pei mi sia..
hahas..
but its enuf already..
cos times spend wif them r fun..

oh ya..
yvonne..
thks for reminding mi tat u r a scammer..
LOL!!
actually i din tink of it when i did my last few post..
i jus address u all as my frens..
but now tat u remind mi..
u shall be known in my blog liao..
hahas..

but overall..
she is nice lahx..
actually all the 6 of us r all nice..
but maybe due to some misunderstanding..
2 of them seems not so close now..
but jus hope time shall heal everything bahx..

well..
everything is going on well for mi now i gus..
i found my grp of good frens..
i got a stable job & i feel tat it kinda suits mi too..
got a noe 2 more frens at bbdc a few days ago too..
hope we can get along well bahx.. =]

cheeros everyone..
melvin has again found tings to motivate himself again..
so do stay tune for more news coming up..

2009-01-10T21:48:00.002+08:00

ahhhhhhhhh..
somebody help mi pls..
im jus so damn fucking bored at hm..
its a sat & im wasting it all at hm..
its like wth sia..

today rly isnt a veri good day..
everyone seems either busy or already hav got their plans le..
jus everyone except for mi here..
jus got darn bored lahx..

&..
im tinking again..
tinking tinking tinking..
all i noe is tink..
when i already told myself to stop tinking..
dunno jus wat wrong wif mi..

blah..
dunno wat im talking abt oso..
logging off in progress..

2009-01-09T13:27:00.002+08:00

its friday..
once again its the end of a week again..
time seems to pass by veri quickly recently..
spending most of my time awake either working or doing something else..

got back from work quite late ytd..
& was too tired so went straight to slp..
but i jus cant seem to slp long..
tired tired tired..

not noe-ing wat to do later on..
gus jus gonna slack & wait for time to pass den work again tonite bahx..
nth much left to do le..
so off to play game now..

2009-01-08T03:45:00.002+08:00

yawns..
jus got back from work not long ago onli..
am feeling so god damn tired now..
but my hair is still wet..
so gotta wait for it to get dry b4 i can go to slp..

work has been tiring as oways..
plus recently i jus change to a night shift work..
its will sure be more tiring..
& cargo now is gradually increasing as CNY is approaching..
so gonna work hard to earn more now & maybe slack abit after CNY..

its been almost 4 days since i last mit my grp of crappy fren..
but times wif them is rly fun..
all the craps ting we talk & do..
all the laughter we had r like endless..
we can jus sit down to talk & laugh for the whole nite..
hahas.. yea..
its sounds like we r abit crazy rite..
LOL!! actually i dun deny tat..
kinda miss the times tgt wif my busy work now..
sure will find some time to mit up soon..
singing session or crapping session..

gus my hair is almost going to dry soon..
so yea..
gonna jus stop here & log off to go to bed..
& of cos..
do stay tune for more updates coming up..

2009-01-07T06:17:00.002+08:00

dunno wats wrong but i cant seem to get to slp..
was editing tings on my blog..
deleting away bad memories like wat i said..
but as i do so..
i had to read thru every single post..
& every post brings back memories of tings tat happen..

dunno how i shld put it in now..
dun tink i will continue editing anymore le..
maybe jus leave it as it is will be better..
better den i read thru every post & remind myself abt it..

when my head hit my pillow jus now..
i tink thru lots of tings..
tinking abt wat to do for my future..
tinking of plans for myself..
but all has been cleared..
=]

gonna head back to bed b4 my aunty wakes up..
if not im sure gonna get nag for not slping again..
hahas..
nites peeps..

new year

2009-01-07T03:49:00.003+08:00

new year new start wif a new post..
tink thru lots of tings for the past year..
tings made to be will be eventually..
tings not made to be will nv be no wat is done..
so i shall let go of the past & move forward..

din hav any new year resolution for tis year..
jus gonna do wat i tink is rite bahx..
actually there is nth much to blog abt too..
so tis is jus a ramdom post for the start of a new year..

been working almost everyday lately..
doesnt hav much time for my own too..
but the good ting is..
im starting to get back my frens..
noeing new frens too..
some of which r jus so funny..
but overall..
most of them r all good bahx..
=]

kinda happy & enjoying the life im having now..
kinda getting use to a new type of lifestyle..
& of cos..
hope everything goes on well from now on..
bad memories shall all be deleted away..
while good ones will be kept still..
shall stop here..
heading to bed soon..
nites everyone..

2008-09-16T20:58:00.003+08:00

im like finally back hm liaox le..
was so damn tired sia..
work work work n work..
can die man..

lucky today can finish work early lohx..
if not dun tink i will be here blogging le..

back for updates for last week..
finish work n came straight hm on sat..
bath n change den jiu went down to phuture for val nuer bday..
n im like the last to reach sia..
paiseh.. hahas..

ppl hu i noe tat were there r kenneth sharon wugui n nigel..
den the rest is all i dunno de..
like so wierd lahx..
chatted wif kenneth they all..
drink n smoke.. hahas..
n i became like so drunk sia..
wtf.. so paiseh lohx..
but i rly din drink alot lehx..
dunno how come will drunk oso..

when i drunk nick came liaox..
lol.. paiseh bro..
u came at the wrong timing lahx..
tink will so drunk bcos wasnt in a good mood n too long nv drink le bahx..
all i noe was went outside n vomited..
den i cant rember watelse happen le..

if im not wrong someone took pics of mi lohx..
hu ever took the pic pls erase it k..
it sure looks damn retarded de lohx..
thks alot for tat..

shi xian came to pick mi up ard 2+ to send mi back hm..
its a mircale i could take bike hm still..
hahas..

sunday was a boring day for mi bahx..
woke up in the morning to go pray..
so means i din slp much although im so drunk after tat nite..
had headache n my mind is like spinning when the sun shines on mi..
went down to vivo city alone..
was too boring to be at hm le..
so decided to watch movie alone lohx..
bought tickets for 12 lotus n money no enuf 2..

hahas..
jitao like a retarded watching movie alone sia..
lol.. lmao..
for both movies i give them both 9/10..
it rly shows how singaporean r..
n the story r both so good lahx..
there is laughter n sorrow..

after watching both show its already abt 9 le..
mit up wif my colleague for dinner..
went to eat prata near my hse there..
by the time reach hm jiu already 10+ le..
den tis was the time..
my boss suddenly called n ask mi go work..
i was like wtf so last min..
although i grumble abt but i still went lahx..

complete everything n reach hm ard 5+ in the morning..
lucky the following day dun nd to go work..
so i jiu slp till abt afternoon 1+ den wake up..
nth to do in the afternoon..
so jiu surf net listen song n slp..
ard 10+ my boss din cal mi i still tot heng tonite can slp..
but when i was jus abt to go slp..
my fone ring n its from my boss..
did tot of not picking up but i still pick up lahx..
went to work again last min..
n was even more suay den the other day..
i complete n finish everything reach hm ard 7 morning le..
was so damn tired lohx..
quickly bath n go slp liaox le..
cos still got to work again in the afternoon today mahx..

n now i finally hav got the chance to rest liaox le..
gonna watch tv awhile den jiu go slp oso le bahx..
tired tired tired..

gus i will jus stop here liaox le..
gonna be resting myself..
hehe..
cheeros..

2008-09-16T12:54:00.002+08:00

finally pulled myself out from bed..
super damn tired lahx..
n i hav got work again later..
roar..
but no choice lahx..

went to airport to collect cargo for the last 2 nite..
its wasnt suppose to be my job de lahx..
but no choice i still hav to do it cos i boss ask mi to..
n both days was all last min de..

sunday nite was called ard nearly 11 to work..
den work till abt morning 5+ de reach hm..
lucky ytd got a day off so i can rest at hm..
den ytd nite got a call at 11+ again to work..
its was like wat the fuck at tis hour..
but no choice lahx..
finish everything n reach hm ard 7 lidat..
was worst den the other day lohx..

went to slp straight after i reach hm n bath..
now wake up le gonna go eat n off to work again..
but i shld not be complaining lahx..
cos my boss do pay mi extra for collect cargo..
so yea..
cos other company dun..
so i shld not be complaining oso..
but the ting is im rly so tired.. ><

nvm bahx..
im gonna work hard..
earn more..
so tat there will be a better future ahead for mi..
for the one i loved..
for my family..
so gus its worth it bahx..

shall not drag anymore time le..
gonna go eat n off to work..
hahas..
money money here i come fo u..
lol..

be back for updates tonite again i gus..
ciaos..

2008-08-11T18:31:00.002+08:00

Macross Frontier Ost - Triangler - Sakamoto Maaya

kimi wa dare to kisu wo suru
watashi soretomo ano ko
kimi wa dare to kisu wo suru
hoshi wo meguru yo junjou

yowamushi nakimushi tsurete
mada ikun da to omou watashi
aisuru yori motomeru yori
utagau hou ga zutto tayasui jibun ga kuyashii

itai yo
mikata dakedo aishitenai toka
mamoru dakedo soba ni irenai toka
nigai niritsuhaihan
imasugu tacchimi-
unmei naraba tsunagasete

kimi wa dare to kisu wo suru
watashi soretomo ano ko
kokoro yurasu kotoba yori
musekinin ni daite genkai

mousou wo sabaku okite
ushiro kara keriagetara
mukidashi no koi ni yoroketa
kokyuu dake de seiippai
mukae ni kite oboreteru kara

itai yo
maemuki na uso ma ni ukeru nowa
waratteru koe segamenai kara
mirai moteamashita
imasugu hold me
risei nante oshitaoshite

kimi wa dare to kisu wo suru
watashi soretomo ano ko
namida marude yakutatazu
hoshi wo kakeru yo junjou

kimi wa dare to kisu wo suru

kimi wa dare to kisu wo suru
watashi soretomo ano ko
tatta hitotsu inochi wo tate ni
ima furikazasu kanshou

Who will you kiss?
Me, or that girl?
Who will you kiss?
Orbit the stars, my pure feelings.

Together with my weak and crybaby selves,
I think I'll continue walking on.
I seldom love, and I seldom wish,
I often choose to doubt, and for that I hate myself.

It hurts.
Like how we are friends but you don't love me,
Or how I can't be with people I'm protecting.
Those bitter contradictions.
Touch me now.
If it's fate, then let me be with you.

Who will you kiss?
Me, or that girl?
More than your seductive words,
Your irresponsibility engulfs me, and I'm at my limit.

The laws that govern my fantasies,
When I gave them a kick from the back,
I tripped and fell over the passion evolved.
Breathing alone takes up all my strength.
Come for me, I am drowning.

It hurts.
Taking an optimistic lie for the truth hurts.
For there isn't a taunting voice egging me on,
The future has become too much for me to bear.
Hold me now.
Overcome your rationality.

Who will you kiss?
Me, or that girl?
These tears are close to worthless,
Chase the stars, my pure feelings.

Who will you kiss?

Who will you kiss?
Me, or that girl?
I use my one and only life as my shield,
And now I brandish my painful sentimentality.

Macross Frontier Ost - Infinity - May'n

zetsubou kara tabidachi wo kimeta ano hi
atashitachi no mae ni wa tada kaze ga fuiteta ne

tsutaetai kimochi hodo kotoba togire togire de
nani mo ienai mama itsumo honto wa fuan de

ashita ga moshimo mieteshimaeba
hito wa yume wo egaku koto mo naku ikiru deshou

sayonara wo dakishimete
itoshisa wo dakishimete
kimi eno omoi de sekai umetsukushitai
hirari hirari tondetta
porori porori naichatta
yakusoku no chi no hate de moichido aitai

ushinatte bokutachi sukoshi tsuyoku nareta kana
kizutsuite mae yori motto yasashiku nareta kana

sugiru tsukihi wa nani wo tamesu no
kedakai mama de ai wa mugen dato kuchidzukete

tsuyoku tsuyoku itainda
kimi ga kimi ga suki nanda
kagiri nai sora no hate e ai yo habatake
eien ga mabushikute
setsunasa ga mabushikute
doko made mo wakiagaru inori yo todoke

nemuranai omoi
kieru koto no nai kibou ga kono te ni aru kara

sayonara wo dakishimete
itoshisa wo dakishimete
kimi eno omoi de sekai umetsukushitai
hirari hirari tondetta
porori porori naichatta
yakusoku no chi no hate de moichido aitai

Remember, on the day we decided to escape this despair,
What lay before us was nothing but the passing wind?

The more feelings I have to convey, the more my words fumble.
Unable to tell you anything, the truth is I live in uncertainty.

If humans could somehow see tomorrow,
Then we probably wouldn't have to live on our dreams.

Embrace that goodbye!
Embrace that affection!
I want to bury this entire world with my feelings for you.
I flew so nimbly, so lightly.
I cried so hard, so much.
I just want to see you once again, at our promised land.

We lost much, but have we become a little stronger?
Are our hearts gentler than before we were hurt?

What are the passing days testing me?
With your pride intact, kiss me and tell me that your love is infinite.

I want to be strong, to be resilient!
I love you, and only you!
Fly forth my love, to the end of the infinite universe!
Eternity is dazzling.
The pain is dazzling.
May my prayers overcome all obstacles and reach you.

My feelings do not rest,
For I have in my hands a hope that cannot be erased.

Embrace that goodbye!
Embrace that affection!
I want to bury this entire world with my feelings for you.
I flew so nimbly, so lightly.
I cried so hard, so much.
I just want to see you once again, at our promised land.

Macross frontier Ost - Diamond Crevasse - May'n

kami-sama ni koi wo shiteta koro wa
konna wakare ga kuru towa omottenakatta yo
mou nido to furerarenai nara
semete saigo ni mou ichido dakishimete hoshikatta yo

It's long long good-bye...

sayonara sayonara nando datte
jibun ni mujou ni iikikasete
te wo furu nowa yasashisa dayo ne?
ima tsuyosa ga hoshii

anata ni deai STAR kagayaite atashi ga umarete
aisureba koso i areba koso
kibou no nai kiseki wo matte dou naru no?
namida ni nijimu hoshi no matataki wa gone...

wasurenai yo anata no nukumori mo
sono yasashisa mo subete tsutsunde kureta ryoute mo
It's long long good-bye...

sayonara sayonara itoshii hito
anata ga ita kara aruite koreta
hitori nanka jyanakatta yo ne?
ima kotae ga hoshii

moeru you na ryuusei tsukamaete hi wo tomoshite
aishiteitai aisaretetai
hieta karada hitotsu de sekai wa dou naru no?
haritsudzuketeta kyosei ga toketeku long for...

doushite nano? namida afurete tomerarenai

anata ni deai STAR kagayaite atashi ga umarete
aisureba koso i areba koso
kibou no nai kiseki wo matte dou naru no?
namida ni nijimu hoshi no matataki wa gone...

moshi umarekawatte mata meguriaeru nara
sono toki mo kitto atashi wo mitsukedashite
mou nido to hanasanaide tsukamaetete
hitori jyanai to sasayaite hoshii planet...

When I was still in love with god,
I never expected such a farewell would come.
If I had known I could never feel your touch again,
I would've hoped to be embraced just one last time.

It's long long good-bye...

Goodbye, goodbye, so many times,
I repeated the word to myself,
Waving my hands. It's only graceful, right?
Now, I long to be stronger.

I met you, the stars sparkled, and I was born.
I love you, therefore I am.
What good is waiting for a hopeless miracle?
Through my tear-filled vision, the planet's twinkle is gone...

I can't ever forget your warmth,
Your kindness, and your all-encompassing hands.
It's long long good-bye

Goodbye, goodbye, my beloved.
I came this far because you were here.
I wasn't alone, was I?
Now, I long for answers.

Catch a falling star that looks ablazed and light a fire,
I still want to love, and I still want to be loved.
What good is a lone freezing body to this world?
I long for you to finally drop your act...

What's wrong? Why can't I stop my tears from overflowing?

I met you, the stars sparkled, and I was born.
I love you, therefore I am.
What good is waiting for a hopeless miracle?
Through my tear-filled vision, the planet's twinkle is gone...

If we are reincarnated and can meet again some day,
Please be sure to find me and hold me tight,
And make sure you never let go again.
I wish the planet would whisper to me that I'm not alone...

2008-08-03T22:49:00.002+08:00

am currently quite pissed off lahx..
but wont be mentioning it..

finally back hm le..
been out since afternoon for fishing..
which is my last hobby left liaox le..
cos i haven got any other hobby le..

my colleague came to fetch mi ard 1 lidat..
headed to buy the bait used for fishing..
den after tat went behind science center there for fish..
but there onli got those small lohan n those irritating japanese fish..
so we soon jiu went off liaox le..

next destination was at yishun de SAF training ground there..
but reach there cant go in cos got exercise in there n the gate was close..
but lucky he got car to drive ard..
if not the time we take to travel jiu can go hm slp le.. hahas..

headed back to lim chu kang..
our old spot for fishing..
jus love tat stop sia..
but its jus tat there is lots of mosquito there..

went to AVA there to fish..
but seems like no fish lidat..
n somemore those thai ppl came wif fish net..
we jiu sian half le..
so we jiu shift up further..

n there..
we caught our first big fish for the day..
n im the one to catch it first sia.. hahas..
i owned man.. ;x

was fishing halfway n irene called..
asked where im..
told her im fishing n she said im still like the past so no life..
wah.. its my onli hobby left for mi to do when there is no one to pei mi lehx..
so where can u lidat say mi..
its jus mi mahx..
the one u hav noe years back..
jus onli tat i hav change n turn good..
n my attitude n temper hav turn good too..
u noe it urself too de.. isnt it..

hav a nice chat after so long since u got married..
sometimes rly miss those crappy days we had in the past..
she ask abt how mi n my gf too..
n i told her everyting is going fine n good..
thks for ur concern.. =]

fished till abt 8 lidat den we jiu pack our tings n headed hm le..
went to hav our dinner b4 sending mi back hm..
den unhappy ting jiu happen le..
tings happen jiu happen le..
dun wish to talk abt it anymore le..
dun wanna feel hurt by tinking of it le..

honey..
hope u will understand after reading the sms i hav send u..
but if u still dun understand even after reading it..
den i jiu hav got nth to say liaox le..
n there will be nth i can do abt it oso le..

gal..
thks for calling mi today when u recieve my sms to ease my boredom while i fish..
being a mother le..
hope u will learn how to tink n be a good mother k..
dun be so playful like wat use to be in the past le k..
wish u to be happy forever.. =]

waiting to find a day free to mit up wif irene to c her cutie little baby..
gonna bully her baby.. hahas..
am i the baby's onli god-father mahx.. hahas..
shall find a day for it as im oways veri busy nowadays..
mit up soon k..
provided if i hav the time.. ;x

gonna be logging off soon le..
tink the next time i will be back for update will be earliest by next week i gus..
do stay tune n do tag..
smile oways..

Honey.. I love u so much.. Hope u do love mi as much as well..

tiring week

2008-06-29T19:24:00.002+08:00

okie.. finally im back to blogging again le.. hav been rly busy for the week.. din hav time for anything oso.. was kinda shag when i got hm ytd.. ><

starting from monday was busy le.. work work work.. n after work was practical.. till nite den i got hm.. den bath n all den jiu fall aslp le.. tues was busy working oso.. den wed was again work n after tat practical.. thur was jus onli work.. but at least got the time to mit honey for dinner.. hehe.. den was friday.. end of the week but its still so tiring oso.. work n practical..

tis whole week is all work n practical work n practical.. rly tired lahx.. but no choice.. haha.. no work = no money.. no money = no food no entertainment.. no entertainment = boring.. n when all tis happenings honey will oso not hav fun oso.. so yea.. got to work.. n oso for my practical is oso no choice de.. cos i wanna get my bike soon.. cos im rly tired n lazy to wait for public transport n all le.. oways wait so long n oways so many ppl.. ><

ytd was veri rushing for mi oso lahx.. got alot of work ytd.. n i hav to rush finish everything by 3pm.. cos i nd to mit honey to go to pasir ris park n prepare tings for her bbq to celebrate her bday in advance.. so yea.. but the time i mit honey was like already 4+ le.. den cab to downtown n waited for the supplier to come wif the food.. n finally the food came at ard 545 lidat..

prepared everything n waited for the rest to come.. but ytd was a bombing day i gus.. those hu said tat would come din turn up.. n those hu said would come early came down damn late too.. so its like wat the hell lahx.. n honey cried too.. was so shock to c honey suddenly cry lahx.. was feeling so unhappy when i c honey cry.. bcos i din wan her to cry on her bday de.. ><

finally at ard 7+ going 8 den the first few person came.. n by tat time honey n i was already super hungry n honey ws already having some gastrics pain le.. rly heartaching to c honey lidat lahx.. suppose to let her be happy de.. den end up tings became lidat.. sorry honey.. in future i will get all the ting by myself n not wait for others to help get them k..

after the first grp of ppl came.. den the rest jiu start to slowly come liaox le.. n everything went quite alrite after tat.. hehe.. hav fun talking to honey fren which is xing yao they all.. was talking abt ns stuffs lahx.. although it maybe be boring but its oways a topic for guys bahx.. hahas.. waited till abt 1 den norman n the rest came.. but by the time alot of ppl were already leaving liaox le lohx..

n oh ya.. den was cutting cake session for honey.. actually wanted to disturb her by pushing the candles allthe way in de.. but din wanna sabo her.. so jiu din do le.. but leong was bad lahx.. he pushed the candle all the way in.. but honey was clever lahx.. she quickly used her hand to pull it out.. lols.. after eating the cake we jiu started cooking for one last time.. n almost finish cooking all the food lohx.. den was sitting down talking n eating liaox le.. till abt 3 i gus.. den norman n the rest jiu cab back.. mi n honey cab back too.. actually wanna go honey hse at first de.. but din wanna disturb her slp.. so i jiu went back hm myself le..

slp all the way till abt 1+ wake up.. almost same time as honey i gus.. den went to hav my breakfast.. prata.. woohoo.. so long no eat le.. but its already cold le.. cos my aunty bought it for mi in the morning.. after eating was still feeling slpy.. den honey told mi to go slp so i jiu rly go back slp again lohx.. all the way till 4+ den i wake up again.. n honey say im a pig sia.. lol.. im not pig pig okie.. hahas.. bleahs..

was watching show from jus now.. n u noe wat.. my fone abit spoil le.. sometimes i cant cal cant sms.. sometimes i cant recieve cal or sms oso.. dunno wat happen to the fone oso lahx.. >< its hinting mi to change fone n waste money again le.. roar..

but afterall.. i hope honey do enjoy her advance bday ytd lahx.. n im waiting for tml.. to celebrate her bday wif her alone.. hehe.. loves honey.. **hugs n kisses**

oops

2008-06-22T23:40:00.002+08:00

oops.. to tink tat i forget to talk abt our 19th mth anni.. ;x hahas.. tink i was rly too sick liaox le bahx.. jus came to tink of it when im blog hopping jus now.. hahas..

as said.. mit honey on friday.. but din celebrate our anni on tat day.. den ytd honey wasnt free.. cos she mit up wif alex to celebrate his bday wif him.. at the same time i was sick too.. so yea.. den was today.. hahas..

actually today oso din rly celebrate bahx.. jus mit up to go out.. watch the incredible hulk.. hmmm.. was kinda stupid lahx.. they tried so hard to catch the hulk but end up creating another hulk.. hahas.. stupid.. but overall still okie bahx.. hehe.. den walk ard ms.. bought 2 tees for honey.. lol.. everytime we walk pass tat shop for sure we will buy someting de lehx.. dunno y oso.. den was dinner n headed hm le..

honey actually slp all the way during our bus ride hm sia.. lol.. i was there alone no one talk to.. hahas.. but still okie lahx.. i understand tat she is tired.. hehe.. send her up den pass her her ting.. n my jacket too.. den i jiu went hm liaox le.. hahas.. gus from tml onwards honey will be wearing my jacket to work le bahx.. lol.. do take care of my jacket like mi lidat okie.. hahas.. miss mi den smell my jacket jiu can tink of mi le lohx.. ;x wahahaha.. bleahs..

was feeling kinda better today le.. but still the same lahx.. better anot.. i still hav to work tml.. n i hav theory n practical from afternoon till nite tml.. gus im gonna be damn shag after tat.. lol.. n i better be slping soon le.. if not when honey c tis she is gonna scold mi for slping late le.. hahas.. ciaos..

sick

2008-06-21T18:25:00.002+08:00

yay.. im finally sick le.. ;x lol.. haven been feeling well since last week.. den gus now im rly not feeling well le.. cos im sick le.. down wif fever cough n flu.. all tgt attack mi sia.. hahas..

mit up wif honey ytd.. actually wanted to go 51o market eat stingray de.. but thurs nite honey jus went there to eat wif her parents.. so yea.. went to 85 market instead.. eat zhu zha tang wif stingray.. but den the stingray like not nice liaox le.. den honey say next time she go ask the sambal from the 510 market the uncle so whereever i go eat stingray can use tat sambal cos i onli like tat sambal.. lol.. cute honey.. but rly the sambal is nice lahx..

den after dinner jiu went back to bedok.. n we had some arguements.. but was soon okie le.. shall not talk abt uhappy tings.. hehe.. den bus back to her hse there.. sit down n talk awhile den after tat was actually exercising sia.. lol.. something which i tink we both r veri lazy at.. hahas.. but hav come to an agreement tat after her bday every friday we go jogging.. hehe.. send her up n went hm after tat..

went to work as usual tis morning even though im sick.. den cant rly concentrate lahx.. cos keep sneeze n all.. den veri dizzy oso.. but no choice.. hav to work lahx.. den some accident happen.. lol.. shall not talk abt it le.. idiot sia.. due to the accident it cause a cut on my nose.. OMG.. im disfigured le lahx.. >< but lucky im alrite..

was back hm at ard 3 i tink.. den bath n slack awhile b4 i went to c doc.. but going to the clinic makes mi feel even more sick lahx.. the atmostphere there suck can.. plus the stupid doc so slow one.. some patient so fast some can go in n stay there for more den 15mins.. dunno wat they doing inside oso in the room..

FINALLY its my turn n i went in.. to my surprise.. i dun even noe im down wif fever.. hahas.. but its jus a slight one.. no wander i dun feel anything.. ;x den waited for my medicine.. waited for abt 10 mins den got it.. but gus wat.. i onli got a cough syrup, flu tablet n fever tablet tat look like panadol.. n u gus how much.. its $35.. so ex sia.. hahas.. maybe is i dun oways c doc tat y will feel ex lahx.. but seriously its ex man.. sick ppl money oso wan earn so much.. ;x

slowly walk hm.. was feeling abit dizzy again while i walk hm.. so stop n rest quite alot of times.. den finally i got hm.. reach hm le sms honey to inform her.. den had my medicine le.. n now blogging.. hehe.. but after tis i jiu going to rest liaox le.. might fall aslp might not.. i dunno..

honey is now currently out celebrating alex bday wif him.. was not invited so din went.. lol.. hope honey enjoys herself.. =] will be waiting for her cal when she reaches hm later.. so am going to take tis time now rest abit b4 i kana scold by her.. lol.. oh ya.. n hope honey will be careful okie.. no matter crossing the road or wat.. n when going hm tat time keep a look out if its late.. hehe.. im oways so worried for her lahx.. dunno y but its jus auto de..

okie.. shall end it here le.. b4 i get scolding from honey.. heex..

><"

2008-06-18T19:42:00.002+08:00

ahhhh.. sibei dulan lahx.. tat idiot instructor actually fail mi when i did nth wrong.. wat the hell.. freak him man.. wasted my precious time & money.. fcuking idiot.. damn gay damn ah gua can.. RWARR.. told honey abt it.. n she keep laugh at wat i say n ask mi to relax.. heex.. lucky got honey there to console mi.. hehe..

back hm finally.. today wasnt a good day for practical oso lahx.. went i jus got to BBDC.. the sky was still bright.. but the moment got on my veh jiu start to rain like nobody's biz le.. win liaox le.. i would rather it rain n stop early then jus wanna start den rain..

book the same lesson again tml.. in the evening at 615.. hope im not so suay to kana the same idiot again tml.. prays hard for mi ppl if u wan mi to pass it soon.. but overall today is still good except for tat idiot tat spoil the 2nd half of my day..

n to my surprise.. i actually saw my fren at BBDC as an instructor.. the was one of them hu took my practical today.. but well.. he wasnt the OIC for today pract so there i nth he can do for mi oso.. so yea.. hope tml de lesson he can take mi bahx.. hahas.. ;x

there is gonna be work tml in the morning.. hopefully it will finish by noon so tat i can go hm n hav some rest b4 the practical bahx.. hehe.. gus tat gonna be all for now n its time for mi to hav my dinner oso le.. wish mi good luck ppl..

feeling unwell

2008-06-13T20:13:00.000+08:00

im currently feeling so uncomfortable.. my whole body seems wierd.. its someting i dunno how to explain myself oso.. its jus the sick sick de feeling den keep wanna vomit..

after work came back hm.. den was like bathing halfway den suddenly lidat jiu vomit le.. dunno wat wrong.. den till now still got the feeling of vomiting.. its so uncomfortable lahx.. i hate tis tyoe of feelings.. msg honey n told her abt it..

recently tis few days honey hav been going back by herself from work.. daddy din fetch her hm.. tink daddy is busy bahx.. but at the same time im worried for her when she goes hm by herself.. cos sometimes she will jus cross the road wif out looking at the cars de.. so scary lahx.. everytime oso bei ni xia dao.. boohoo.. so honey ownself go hm rly muz be careful okie..

suddenly i got the feeling of talking to honey rite now.. n oso got someting to ask her abt tml.. so gus i eat finish my dinner le den sms her ask her cal mi or i cal her bahx.. might not be miting honey tml.. cos she is going to celebrate alex de bday for him.. but not sure if cfm already mahx cos she din tell mi oso.. so gonna ask her tat later too.. heex.. anyway alex if u happen to read my blog too.. i wanna say.. happy birthday to u too.. =]

shall go n continue wif my dinner le.. den gus gonna be talking to honey liaox le.. heex.. cya..

happy 21st bday to myself ;x

2008-06-06T20:00:00.003+08:00

im back to blogging again after tis few days break.. n firstly.. i would like to say happy 21st bday to myself.. ;x hahas.. kinda funny saying happy bday to myself lahx.. lols.. but hmmm.. to mi gus its still okie bahx.. was kinda having fun n enjoyed the chalet tat i had.. although there r alot hu last min cant make it down.. but at least i still hav my frens ard wif mi..

as for honey.. she too has been there for mi.. but although its not for the whole chalet but still she is there lahx.. at least she is there when i cut my cake i jiu veri happy le.. =] was kinda hard for her oso.. cos she was working on tues in the day.. den after work got to come down for the chalet.. n somemore she din slp much oso den next day gotta go work again.. was rly kinda xin tong u noe.. but no choice she has to go to work.. haix.. but lucky she did manage to get a half day.. so jiu came back to the chalet.. waited for the rest to come den i jiu start the fire for bbq while honey is taking her rest.. started bbq at abt 7 lidat bahx i tink.. den honey jiu stay n eat abit be going hm as mummy got cook for her.. den abt 8+ jiu send honey out to busstop for her to go hm le.. although i noe tat once she went hm the chance for her to come back to the chalet is slim.. i still happily send her back.. cos i noe it will be hard on her between mi n her parents.. n i dun wan anyting to happen cos of mi between them.. frankly speaking.. its been long since i hav tat type of feeling when im wif honey le.. n i rly love tat kind of feeling lahx.. heex.. hope tis time it would last long long long long k..

back to the chalet.. ppl tat came were my honey tat for sure.. my bro n his gf.. shi xian n his gf.. kenneth n sharon.. qingfeng, aik yew, serene.. des n his gf.. leong n jun jun.. val n her bf.. david.. alex.. ivan.. jonathan.. thks all u guys tat made the effort to come down.. n oso not forgetting doris.. she came to help mi check into the chalet de.. n she n zhiheng bought a mini cake for mi.. thks thks.. =]

as for the rest i dun tink got anyting to say le bahx.. oh ya.. except for the few bengs beside my chalet.. hahas.. aiya.. but they r still jus kids lahx.. kinda lazy to be bothered wif them at all.. hahas.. so yea.. lastly b4 i end tis post.. i will wanna say HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to myself again.. wahahaha.. im old liaox le.. ;x

To my Honey..
Honey.. I noe we hav got alot of quarrels n arguements recently b4 my birthday.. but it shld all be clear by now le rite.. thks for coming down for my birthday even when u r tired after u finish ur work.. hope everything will be fine for us liaox le k.. n dun wanna hav anymore unhappy times wif u anymore le.. seriously i love the times we had during the chalet.. n i rly hope it would continue to be like tis for now till forever.. thks for everything tat u hav done for mi.. n lastly.. thks for celebrating my 21st bday wif mi n giving mi a nice n sweet memory of my 21st bday.. lovess.. <3

Such a meaningful song

2008-06-02T00:20:00.005+08:00

tis song here.. which i got it from my nuer de blog.. is rly so nice.. n its so meaningful too.. it jus somehow say how wat im feeling now.. u can take away everything but u can nv hav yesterday..

tis is the song.. the lyrics.. hope u will like it as much as i do..

i just cant believe your gone, still waiting for morning to come, when i see if the sun will rise, in the way that your by my side, oooo where we had so much in store, tell me what is it all reaching for, when were through building memories i'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart.

they can take tomorrow and the plans we made, they can take the music that we'll never play, all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday, they can take the future that we'll never know, they can take the places that we said we will go, all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.

you always choose to stay, i should be thankful for everyday, heaven knows what the future holds, or least where the story goes, i never believed until now, i know i'll see you again im sure, no its not selfish to ask for more, one more night one more day one more smile on your face but they cant take yesterday.

they can take tomorrow and the plans we made, they take the music that we'll never play, all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday, they can take the future that we'll never know, they can take the places that we said we will go, all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.

i thought our days would last forever, but it wasnt our destiny, coz in my mind we had so much time, but i was so wrong, no i can believe me i can still find the strength in the moments we made. i'm lookin back on yesterday.

they can take tomorrow and the plans we made, they take the music that we'll never play, all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday, they can take the future that we'll never know, they can take the places that we said we will go, all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.

********************************************************

lalala.. after hearing tis song for the first time.. i jiu feel so emo liaox le.. its rly a veri good song.. to rate it i would give it 5/5.. its the best song i hav ever heard.. im listening to it over n over again now.. n is feeling rly kinda emo now.. i dunno y im so useless.. gus im jus such a failure bahx.. watever i says jus seems to be nth at all.. like the song lyrics.. i rly tot our days would last forever.. but is it rly our destiny?? in my mind we had so much time but i was so wrong.. but looking back i can still find the strength in the moments we made..

is tis wat tings r actually now or izzit tat im tinking too much?? i rly wan to hav a good r/s ahead of us.. i rly dun wish to leave at all.. i rly wish u can oways be by my side no matter wat happens.. but can reality be in tis way too.. or am i jus decieving myself.. would our days rly last forever mahx?? i rly wish it will..

after listening n read the sms i dunno y my tears jus lidat jiu flow down le.. i hav no control on it too.. i din wanted to.. i told myself i shld not be crying again anymore.. but it actually overcome my will of not to do so.. jus 2 more days will be my big day le.. i rly dun wish to be in tis state on the day itself.. i dun wish to hav my tears flowing down in front of so many ppl jus like how it happen on 01/07/2006 again..

will i be able to do so mahx.. i doubt myself.. anyway i wish myself happy 21st birthday in advance first bahx.. so let jus continue n watch how the story goes for now..

2008-05-30T13:48:00.000+08:00

finally im back here blogging le.. actually wanna blog for the past few days de.. but i rly hav got no mood to do anything for the past few days.. =] so sorry for those hu do come n read..

tings aint going any good for mi at all recently.. jus change n job at the beginning of tis week.. but although work there is good n its still okie.. but it aint like the past anymore.. when i can hav some much free time slacking.. at the side im working now.. i will be so damn busy.. so busy tat i wont even hav the time to read any sms n not to talk abt cals.. n working here now means injuries everywhere.. its been jus 1 week n i hav got cuts almost everywhere on both of my hands.. some cut is jus so deep tat the blood jus wont stop dripping..

n guys.. dun misunderstood.. i noe im in a veri down period now for almost everything.. but i aint foolish enuf to cut myself.. its all jus bcos of work tat i keep cut myself on my hands.. so dun tink tat i cut myself bcos im feeling down cos i aint tat dumb.. =]

been facing lots of problems recently oso.. its jus too much to spell it all out.. abt work abt r/s abt my 21st bday.. as for work i tink most tat noe mi well will noe wat kind of job im working as le.. so nd not explain anymore.. as for r/s.. its been getting from a sweet n loving one to bad n now to worse le.. i hav rly got no idea how come tings will turn out tis way.. or i shld say i dunno how come all my r/s will oways turn out to be in such a way.. all of it seems so similar.. although they r all diff gals from diff place n diff char.. but its oways the same de.. although i hav put in my 100% in all my r/s but none of it seems to turn out good..

i jus dunno wat the problem.. izzit jus mi or izzit them? izzit tat the way i hav treated them is too well tat they will take mi for granted.. or izzit tat i hav not done good enuf for them to love mi more.. or izzit tat its the punishment for mi for all the bad tings tat i hav done.. if its rly a punishment for mi den i would rather bear the punishment all by myself.. i dun wan the person i love to be facing the punishment tgt wif mi.. cos it has got nth to do wif them at all.. watever bad tings which i hav done in the past.. its all my own doing n its got nth to do wif anyone else.. so if its a punishment for mi den jiu let the one hu suffers be mi alone n leave those tat i love lohx..

as for my bday.. i dun even noe if the person i wan most to be there will be there anot.. so i rly dunno if there is still any point to celebrate tis bday anymore liaox le.. jus feel so suckie rite now.. i dunno wat to say now oso.. jus feeling kinda crazy now.. till shi xian oso dun rly dare to talk to mi.. pls.. i aint any monster n i dun eat ppl.. =[

here im

2008-05-24T11:11:00.002+08:00

its been some days tat i nv blog liaox le.. cos totally no mood to blog plus im lazy to blog.. hahas.. but gus i shld be blogging liaox le.. cos im now so so so free everyday.. ;x

u guys might wonder y am i so free nowadays?? cos i hav quit my job le.. too many problem r coming up.. n im sick n tired of working wif tat bunch of idiots.. hahas.. to tink tat im tat dumb to believe wat u tell mi?? go back hm to learn telling lies for afew more yrs den come lie to mi lahx.. lols.. im not gonna be the idiot to everytime come so early to work but yet those idiots oways wait till the last min b4 starting work den them will come.. bye bye is all i can say..

wif out mi coming early.. i can be so so so damn sure they hav their ass kicked my boss.. n im so so so rite lahx.. after seeing tat i so many days nv come work.. my boss jiu start to qns them n even cal mi ytd.. n learn to noe from my boss tat he ytd jus f*** them up in the morning onli.. cos he learn to noe wat hav happen in the morning.. but he nv scold mi at all.. lols.. he still tell mi find 1 day free go find him he wanna discuss someting wif mi sia.. woots..

as for tis days which i nv work.. i was at hm playing my ps2 all the way lahx.. play RTK10.. hahas.. like so no life lidat rite.. no choice oso lahx.. my 8800GTS graphic got some problem nd to send for repair.. =[ den oso cant ask honey out.. cos she has got to attend some impt tings tis few days.. so yea.. jiu jus stayed at hm lohx.. n ya.. honey do cheer up k.. if got anything do tell mi.. smile k.. heex..

but gus tis is my last week being so free liaox le bahx.. cos im gonna start a new work on monday again le.. hahas.. so u idiot listen up here.. dun tink i will die wif out u ppl.. i hav still got tons of ppl wanna employ mi ard.. lols.. so yea.. gonna enjoy as muc as i can now b4 i start working again bahx.. cos its so hard to find time for mi to enjoy de.. heex..

off to play my RTK10 liaox le.. n is waiting for honey de reply.. tink she is rly busy bahx.. today already 2nd day she nv sms mi le.. but okie lahx.. cos i noe tat she is busy.. honey.. im missing ya.. waiting for ur sms k.. =]

2008-05-18T18:45:00.002+08:00

rember when i reading my last post its seems so fun so nice so sweet.. but i gus happiness jus cant last bahx.. its like jus afew days ago tat seem to be so sweet of us both.. but now its all so different again liaox le.. totally different.. i can blame no one at all.. cos ppl ard hav already tell mi to give up le.. but i jus cant seem to give it up bahx.. so there is no one i can blame but myself for bringing tis upon myself bahx..

but i hav decided tis time le.. watever the decision tat is gonna be made when the time is rite i will jus keep to tat decision tat is made le.. i will not be holding on n not letting go again tis time le.. cos i dun wanna be seems like a despo to anyone.. n after tinking abt so many tings.. i understand n understood le.. no matter wat she is still not married to mi oso.. so i cant be asking her to do anything for mi too.. n oso.. i shld not be holding on n not let go bahx.. she av got her own freedom to do watever she wan.. so yea..

so honey.. i dunno if will u be reading my blog.. but if u do c tis.. do go into our own space to read the post tat i hav post up specially for u bahx.. den after reading pls go n tink abt it all n let mi noe the ans to it bahx.. during the meantime.. i will not disturb or bother u tinking bahx.. but do rly tink of it carefully n clearly b4 making any decisions bahx.. n take good care of urself.. jus rember no matter wat i will still be there..

lalalala

2008-05-14T15:55:00.004+08:00

lalalala.. been quite afew days since i last blog oso le bahx.. hahas.. cos was kinda in a tight schedule.. lol.. fri sat n sun was the chalet.. although i din noe much of the ppl there but i tink its still okie bahx.. dunno but there is still talks ard..

mit honey at bedok b4 heading for the chalet on friday.. den reach there bbq abit n talk ard.. till abt 12 lidat den we cut cake for sharon.. after the cake cutting session was funny lahx.. we sabo sharon by smashing some of the cake on her face.. lols.. damn funny lahx.. ;x after everything ended den we watch tv n slack awhile b4 going to slp..

next morning wake up quite early n went to mac for breakfast tgt wif the rest.. after tat went to rent bicycle to cycle back to the chalet.. den whole afternoon din do anything much oso i gus.. except for mi going to marine parade to buy live prawns for fishing in the nite.. other den tat jiu nth liaox le.. ard evening time we jiu start bbq again..

was playing volleyball wif some others.. funny lahx.. dunno how to play den we at there anyhow throw n hit the ball.. lols.. after awhile jiu stop playing le n waited for my bro to come.. honey went hm after my bro came cos her mummy wans her to be hm tat nite.. den sit down n chat awhile more b4 we left for fishing..

i cycled to bedok jetty while my bro n his fren walk there.. hahas.. den fish fish fish for the whole nite n got nth.. actually is got 2 fish le.. but den dumbo them dunno how to do den let the fish escape.. hahas.. boohoo them lahx.. abt 3+ alan came n bought us roti prata for supper.. so stop awhile to eat the pratas b4 we continue again..

fish half way jiu saw the sky turning red le.. wanna continue awhile more c how but den after awhile more the whole sky jiu red le lohx.. its like so damn fast lohx.. den the strong wind jiu start liaox le.. din hav time to keep our ting so jus take den jiu wait to shelter le.. jus nice reach shelter jiu rain le.. so cold lohx.. its like freezing wif the whole body wet plus the cold wind blowing.. omg..

but after the rain everything jiu okie le.. n there comes the fishes n all.. caught quite alot.. den ard 7+ we jiu leave le.. my bro they all went hm while i went back to the chalet.. rest awhile b4 waking up to return the bicycle n pack up den jiu went off to subway to eat b4 we went hm.. overall everything is quite okie lahx.. except for some tings n the food is rly too much le.. hahas..

sunday reach hm den jiu faster bath n jiu go slp liaox le.. hahas.. slp for the whole day till nite den wake up.. at nite wake up le eat abit le den went back to slp again.. lol.. den monday jiu went to work again.. work work work.. but im still in those relaxing de holiday mood sia.. lols..

ytd oso work.. actually can finish early de.. but the container delay den came in late.. so by the time finish jiu abt 4 le.. faster went hm to bath n all den after tat jiu leave hm to go mit honey for dinner.. actually is wanna go eat stingray de.. but den mummy wanna eat popeye so we jiu went to eat popeye instead so we can buy back for them to eat.. but after reaching airport jiu dun feel like eating popeye le.. so we end up eating swensens.. had our fondue cravings fulfilled oso.. hahas..

cab back to honey hm den i jiu cab back hm again.. lols.. like alot of money lidat sia.. keep cab here cab there.. hahas.. but not true lahx.. gus tis month im gonna be broke again le.. ;x honey is going to scold mi if she c tis.. ciao..

boring life of being alone

2008-05-08T00:00:00.002+08:00

life nowadays is so much more boring den ever b4.. sometimes its jus seem tat its rly tiring to be living tis type of life all being alone.. having no one to talk to.. even sms was sometimes not replied.. hahas.. sounds like im kinda desperate for someone to talk to or sms wif rite.. hahas.. doesnt seem to be so.. all tis feeling was all cos by some reasons.. its not tat im like a despo finding for someone k.. lols..

been almost a week le.. there is not no talk at all.. even sms oso seems like dun hav lidat.. hahas.. the person shld noe wat is all tis abt bahx.. =] tink we cant even communicate already le bahx.. doesnt seem to understand wat im talking abt too.. cant even hear mi out den jiu start to bu nai fan le.. tings were all so much diff from the start until now le bahx.. it jus seems like i doesnt mean anything or seems impt to u anymore le.. happy u cal u sms.. not happy jiu no cal no sms no nth.. tings said le oso not done oso.. hahas.. den wats the use of saying it but not doing it lehx..

maybe i muz agree wif wat greg is saying bahx.. wats meant to be mine will be mine.. wats not meant to be mine no matter wat i do how much i do it will still still not be mine de.. maybe its all true bahx.. tings r all seem to be drifting further n further liao le bahx.. but its not mi tat is drifting further.. its u tat is drifting further away from mi le.. i can no longer stop u from drifting any further away anymore le.. bcos nth i say now seems to be able to get into u anymore le..

i forgot wat i did on monday le.. all i noe it was jus a boring day bahx i gus.. den was ytd.. tot tings were okie le but its all jus for awhile onli.. went to drink after work.. forgot how much i drink liao le.. but okie bahx.. not drunk or wat oso.. drink till abt 1+.. den after tat went hm rest awhile le den went to beach road to buy some fishing stuffs.. after tat went hm to pack the fishinf tings le den jiu went fishing at bedok jetty le.. its jus like those no life de ppl will do de ting.. fish till 2+ den jiu pack up n went hm to slp le..

dunno y woke up so early in the morning oso.. jus slp till halfway den jiu suddenly wake up n cant slp le.. so jiu wait till time is up n went to work.. den afternoon jiu shi arguements n arguements.. after work went to buy some stuffs for my upcoming chalet in june den jiu go hm le.. talking abt the chalet.. im wondering if i shld order buffet or jus bbq or buffet n bbq tgt.. lols.. but if buffet n bbq tgt den bbq food jiu wont hav tat much le lohx.. jus some standard bbq food like satay n otah.. hahas.. so anyone.. any comment on wat to do for it mahx??

gus starting from now on jiu shi the starting of my no life days le bahx.. =] awaiting for the upcoming chalet tis weekend.. wonder if she would keep to wat she said to mi n accompany mi there or if she would back out from it last min.. i dunno n i dun wanna noe oso bahx.. so jiu shall c how tings goes on for now bahx.. =]

off to stone le..

new blogskin

2008-05-04T03:06:00.000+08:00

test test.. =]

2008-04-24T22:39:00.002+08:00

blog blog blog.. its been so long since i last blog liao le.. cos was busy n was unable to.. quite alot of tings happen during tis period of time when i din blog bahx.. dun feel like talking abt it oso liao le.. kinda tired abt it all le..

but yea.. from now on.. i will be able to blog almost everyday if i hav the time bahx.. hahas.. but anyway.. gus no one reads my blog oso de bahx.. blog oso for my own memory onli..

gus tat all for tis post le.. am going to slp liao le.. nite peeps for those hu do read my blog..

Bei Ying

2008-02-26T15:48:00.004+08:00

歌曲:背影 (Bei Ying) - 斗牛要不要电视原声带 (Dou Niu Yao Bu Yao OST)
作词:蓝小邪
作曲:关大州
编曲:洪信杰
演唱:林宥嘉 (Yoga Lin You Jia)

三公分阳光三公分空气 (San Gong Fen Yang Guang San Gong Fen Kong Qi)
堵在眼前像一面玻璃 (Tu Zai Yan Qian Xiang Yi Mian Puo Li)
挡住了你表情剩下只有脚印 (Dang Zhu Le Ni Piao Qing Sheng Xia Zhi You Jiao Ying)

一直向前走走不完距离 (Yi Zhi Xiang Qian Zhou Zhou Bu Wan Ju Li)
一直向后退不出回忆 (Yi Zhi Xiang Hou Tui Bu Chu Hui Yi)
很高兴有心事帮我困住自己 (Hen Gao Xing You Xin Shi Pang Wo Kun Zhu Zhi Zi)

你头发上淡淡青草香气 (Ni Tou Fa Shang Dan Dan Qing Chao Xiang Qi)
变成了风才能和我相遇 (Pian Cheng Le Feng Cai Neng He Wo Xiang Yu)
你的目光蒸发成云 (Ni De Mu Guang Chen Fa Cheng Yun)
再下成雨我才能够靠近 (Zai Xia Chang Yu Wo Cai Neng Gou Kao Jing)

感谢我不可以住进你的眼睛 (Gan Xie Wo Bu Ke Yi Zhu Jing Ni De Yan Jing)
所以才能拥抱你的背影 (Shuo Yi Cai Neng Yong Bao Ni De Bei Ying)
有再多的遗憾用来牢牢记住 (You Zai Duo De Yi Han Yong Lai Lau Lau Ji Zhu)
不完美的所有美丽 (Bu Wan Mei De Shuo You Mei Li)

感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影 (Gan Xie Wo Bu Ke Yi Yong Bao Ni De Bei Ying)
所以才能变成你的背影 (Shuo Yi Cai Neng Pian Cheng Ni De Bei Ying)
躲在安静角落不用你回头看 (Duo Zai An Jing Jiao Luo Bu Yong Ni Hui Tou Kan)
不用珍惜 (Bu Yong Zhen Xi)

我怀里所有温暖的空气 (Wo Huai Li Shuo You Wen Luan De Kong Qi)
变成风也不敢和你相遇 (Pian Cheng Feng Ye Bu Gan He Ni Xiang Yu)
我的心事蒸发成云 (Wo De Xin Shi Chen Fa Cheng Yun)
再下成雨却舍不得淋湿你 (Zai Xia Chang Yu Que She Bu De Ling Shi Ni)

感谢我不可以住进你的眼睛 (Gan Xie Wo Bu Ke Yi Zhu Jing Ni De Yan Jing)
所以才能拥抱你的背影 (Shuo Yi Cai Neng Yong Bao Ni De Bei Ying)
有再多的遗憾用来牢牢记住 (You Zai Duo De Yi Han Yong Lai Lau Lau Ji Zhu)
不完美的所有美丽 (Bu Wan Mei De Shuo You Mei Li)

感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影 (Gan Xie Wo Bu Ke Yi Yong Bao Ni De Bei Ying)
所以才能变成你的背影 (Shuo Yi Cai Neng Pian Cheng Ni De Bei Ying)
躲在安静角落不用你回头看 (Duo Zai An Jing Jiao Luo Bu Yong Ni Hui Tou Kan)
不用珍惜 (Bu Yong Zhen Xi)

感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影 (Gan Xie Wo Bu Ke Yi Yong Bao Ni De Bei Ying)
所以才能变成你的背影 (Shuo Yi Cai Neng Pian Cheng Ni De Bei Ying)
躲在安静角落如果你回头看 (Duo Zai An Jing Jiao Luo Ru Guo Ni Hui Tou Kan)
不用在意 (Bu Yong Zai Yi)

happy 15th mths :)

2008-02-22T19:00:00.002+08:00

firstly.. its will be a happy 15mths anni for mi n honey on the 20th tis mth.. den jiu nth else liaox le bahx i tink.. hahas.. lols..

although we din rly do anything much tat day bahx.. jus pei her go service her fone.. den walk walk awhile n bought some tings.. after tat had our dinner at airport de popeye.. hahas.. so its rly nth much lahx.. heex..

as for days after tat.. din rly hav much work lohx.. jus like today lidat.. oso got no work.. den tml onli got 1 container nia.. hahas.. tis mth rly is chi zhi zi le lahx.. lols.. n tml after work will be miting honey to go out bahx.. will cfm again later in the nite..

as for today.. went into malaysia wif my fren for some touring n some praying.. went all the way on his bike to kulai there jus to bai bai.. den after tat head over to jb de holiday inn there to walk walk see see.. hahas.. cos cant tink of anywhere to go le.. tot of going up genting.. but by the time we come back will be midnight le.. plus honey cant contact mi.. so scare tat she will worry jiu din go le.. heex..

too long nv sit bike go so far le sia.. sit till my butt abit pain.. lols.. but okie lahx.. although we din speed.. but all the cornering is fun lahx.. hahas.. heex.. but yea.. honey dun scold mi when u c tis oh.. we will be careful n not let anything happen de.. so yea..

so tat jiu end for the day liaox le.. wanna go for more touring.. if possible wanna bring honey along too.. im sure she will love it lots too de.. heex.. so yea..

Vday + Chingay

2008-02-17T01:20:00.002+08:00

happy belated val day to honey n everyone hu i noe n hu noe mi.. lols.. dunno wat im talking abt oso.. hahas..

for val day.. honey n mi had a nice n good start.. but it din end as well though.. but yea.. its over le.. n we wont talk abt it anymore liaox le.. cos wats past is the past le mahx.. shall forget abt unhappy times n rember those happy n pleasant times tgt.. heex.. ;)

went to watch jumper on tat day in the afternoon.. was quite nice.. den after tat headed to swensens for our dinner.. n after tat took bus to send honey hm.. as for the rest shall not talk abt it le..

as for today.. went over to honey hse to pass her the bear which i got for her last nite.. den jiu went out liaox le.. jus found out today tat the seed in my rite ear is getting bigger n bigger le.. hahas.. gonna go c doc n c how it is.. lols.. scare die now.. hahas..

headed over to cityhall there to go walk the he pan n to watch chingay 2008.. pic n videos were taken.. but wont be uploading them now.. tink the next time den i upload bahx.. hahas.. n too.. i got the video of the F1 car racing down the streets of cityhall.. shall upload it soon for those hu is interest to watch it..

as for tings after tat were simple le.. took cab back to my place n packet dinner back hm to eat.. after finish eating den slack awhile den jiu send honey to take cab hm while i went to get the cam de printer to print some pics out.. so yea..

gus by now honey shld be deep aslp le bahx.. except for mi.. tat i cant slp.. dunno y oso.. but i jus feel so wide awake now sia.. hope i cal fall aslp soon bahx.. lols..

tink tats all for now le bahx.. will update again soon when i got the time to blog again.. lols.. actually is got the time to blog de lahx.. its jus tat sometime im jus lazy to blog nia.. hahas.. siams..

Bu Xiang Dong De..

2008-02-08T21:46:00.000+08:00

當世界　不知不覺的變了
Dang Shi Jie Bu Zhi Bu Jue De Bian Le
有時后　我懷念以前的我
You Shi Hou Wo Huai Nian Yi Qian De Wo
作的夢雖然遠遠的
Zuo De Meng Sui Rang Yuan Yuan De
想像是一種快樂
Xiang Xiang Shi Yi Zhong Kuai Le
擁有了　同時也失去什麼
Yong You Le Tong Shi Ye Shi Qu Shi Me
而眷戀　原來會帶來軟弱
Er Juan Lian Yuan Lai Hui Dai Lai Ruan Ruo
你讓我在霧里成熟
Ni Rang Wo Zai Wu Li Cheng Shou
心開始曲折
Xin Kai Shi Qu Zhe
我不想舍得　不想懂得
Wo Bu Xiang She De Bu Xiang Dong De
是誰惹誰　言不由衷
Shi Shui Re Shui Yan Bu You Zhong
說謊傷害　都是不安犯的錯
Shuo Huang Shang Hai Dou Shi Bu An Fan De Cuo
怕抱不緊什麼
Pa Bao Bu Jing Shi Me
我不想舍得　不想懂得
Wo Bu Xiang She De Bu Xiang Dong De
誰說割愛　才更深刻
Shui Shuo Ge Ai Cai Geng Shen Ke
彼此依賴是愛不是負荷
Bi Ci Yi Lai Shi Ai Bu Shi Fu He
互相照顧就是幸福的
Hu Xiang Zhao Gu Jiu Shi Xin Fu De
當世界　不知不覺的變了
Dang Shi Jie Bu Zhi Bu Jue De Bian Le
有時后　我懷念以前的我
You Shi Hou Wo Huai Nian Yi Qian De Wo
作的夢雖然遠遠的
Zuo De Meng Sui Rang Yuan Yuan De
想像是一種快樂
Xiang Xiang Shi Yi Zhong Kuai Le
擁有了　同時也失去什麼
Yong You Le Tong Shi Ye Shi Qu Shi Me
而眷戀　原來會帶來軟弱
Er Juan Lian Yuan Lai Hui Dai Lai Ruan Ruo
你讓我在霧里成熟
Ni Rang Wo Zai Wu Li Cheng Shou
心開始曲折
Xin Kai Shi Qu Zhe
誰說割愛　才更深刻
Shui Shuo Ge Ai Cai Geng Shen Ke
彼此依賴是愛不是負荷
Bi Ci Yi Lai Shi Ai Bu Shi Fu He
說謊傷害　都是不安犯的錯
Shuo Huang Shang Hai Dou Shi Bu An Fang De Cuo
怕抱不緊什麼
Pa Bao Bu Jing Shi Me
我不想舍得　不想懂得
Wo Bu Xiang She De Bu Xiang Dong De
誰說割愛　才更深刻
Shui Shuo Ge Ai Cai Geng Shen Ke
彼此依賴是愛不是負荷
Bi Ci Yi Lai Shi Ai Bu Shi Fu He
能握著手就是感動的
Neng Wo Zhe Shou Jiu Shi Gan Dong De
我愿意一秒鐘放棄全宇宙
Wo Yuan Yi Yi Miao Zhong Fang Qi Quan Yu Zhou
擠在只有我們緊靠的小星球
Qi Zai Zi You Wo Men Jing Kao De Xiao Xin Qiu
我不想舍得　不想懂得
Wo Bu Xiang She De Bu Xiang Dong De
是誰惹誰　言不由衷
Shi Shui Re Shui Yan Bu You Zhong
說謊傷害　都是不安犯的錯
Shuo Huang Shang Hai Dou Shi Bu An Fan De Cuo
怕抱不緊什麼
Pa Bao Bu Jing Shi Me
我多不舍得多不懂得
Wo Duo Bu She De Bu Xiang Dong De
誰說割愛　才更深刻
Shui Shuo Ge Ai Cai Geng Shen Ke
彼此依賴是愛不是負荷
Bi Ci Yi Lai Shi Ai Bu Shi Fu He
能握著手就是感動的
Neng Wo Zhe Shou Jiu Shi Gan Dong De
是誰惹誰　言不由衷
Shi Shui Re Shui Yan Bu You Zhong
說謊傷害　都是不安犯的錯
Shuo Huang Shang Hai Dou Shi Bu An Fan De Cuo
怕抱不緊什麼
Pa Bao Bu Jing Shi Me
我多不舍得多不懂得
Wo Duo Bu She De Bu Xiang Dong De
誰說割愛　才更深刻
Shui Shuo Ge Ai Cai Geng Shen Ke
彼此依賴是愛不是負荷
Bi Ci Yi Lai Shi Ai Bu Shi Fu He
能握著手就是感動的
Neng Wo Zhe Shou Jiu Shi Gan Dong De

chinese new year de 1st day

2008-02-07T23:14:00.000+08:00

back from a whole of visiting for the first day of chinese new year.. din go to much place so jiu din collect much ang bao oso lahx.. but yea.. got alot anot oso lidat..

kinda dun rly excited abt chinese new year each year after im getting older.. to mi maybe its jus a day to relatives to get tgt onli bahx.. nth much le.. as for the ang bao oso like no big diff to mi le.. cos im like already use to getting lesser n lesser liaox le.. so yea.. got money everyday oso chinese new year mahx.. hahas..

was playing mahjong at my aunty hse there wif my cousin they all.. gus i too long nv play liaox le bahx.. was kinda slow liaox le.. n finally lost 30+ lidat.. honey sms mi during the game.. i wanna reply the sms but keep no time.. sorry abt tat.. n gus due to tat hone become bored n thus went to slp liaox le..

sms her but she din reply so jiu cal her.. but gus she is too deep in slp le bahx.. the way she talk was like she was slp talking lidat so jiu din disturb her from slping le.. but den she went to slp wif out turning off her com.. >< nvm bahx.. no matter how i sms her she oso wont wake up c le.. n i dun wanna cal n disturb her oso.. so yea.. let her be bahx..

as for mi now.. im gonna go slp soon as im starting work again tml le.. so yea.. kinda dun feel like going to work tml.. but den u noe lahx.. i cant.. haix.. suan le bahx.. n after tml my daddy they all will be flying off for 1 week.. n during tis week i will sure get so damn bored alone at hm.. hu will be willing to come n accompany mi??

finally back online

2008-02-04T16:10:00.000+08:00

woah.. finally get myself back online once again.. dunno y my net has been down for the past weeks.. but yea.. even if it wasnt down i oso dun rly hav the time to blog bahx.. cos was veri busy working n everytime reach hm jiu quite late le.. so yea.. heex..

n as usual.. after so long i din blog.. someone is complaining liaox le.. so yea.. now i hav the chance to blog i jiu blog lohx.. ;)

was so damn busy for the past weeks lahx.. but last week still okie.. at least still got some rest.. but ever since 26th jan start jiu veri jialat le.. everytime when there is work.. i jiu will finish work veri late.. cos got tons of work to do..sometimes even work into the nite.. its so damn tiring lahx.. but yea.. no choice bahx.. no work no money.. n oso its time for mi to earn more while i can n save more.. heex..

chiong for so long le jiu shi for today.. today we finally end our work for the year.. n yea.. my boss distribute tons of veg n fruits for us too.. so much tat i hav a hard time bringing them back.. gave all the veg to my aunt.. cos i dun cook at hm n most impt is i dun eat veg.. haha.. so jiu onli brought back the oranges.. gave my aunt 1 box too.. still got 3 more boxes at hm wif mi.. of which 2 of them i will be bringing them down to honey place.. left wif 1 box for myself.. tat more den enuf liaox le lahx.. lol..

so for now.. gonna go change n get ready to go out to send the orange liaox le.. so yea.. hope i will be back for updates soon bahx..

hoho ;x

2008-01-20T21:39:00.000+08:00

BLOG INVASION!!!~

hahas. like tis skin. uber cute n nice. dunno u will feel like gal gal de skin anot. but yea. here it is. i dun care. as long as it is nice. it should stays. hahas. =p

HAPPY 14th MONTHS SWEETIEE. <33

be my valentine tonight will you?? lols. =p

New Year New Beginning

2008-01-05T17:32:00.000+08:00

okie.. its been veri veri long since i last update n blog liaox le.. hahas.. n someone is already complaining n asking for updates liaox le.. lols.. so yea.. back for some updates since im free today.. heex..

its a new year n its a new beginning.. everything new n fresh again.. quite alot of tings happen in the year of 2007.. there r both good n bad.. but yea.. its all over le.. gonna rember the good times n not the bad.. although i say wont rember tat.. but i wont deny tat it will reminds mi abt it..

jus had a simple celebration tis year rd.. din do anything much.. haha.. jus went to kbox wif honey n my fren.. sing sing drink drink n play play abit.. lols.. after tat jiu left nth much for the following few days le lohx.. jus work work work.. haha.. n yea.. was busy n lazy tats y its been so long since i last blog.. heex..

so since today im back hm early n got nth to do den jiu decided to blog blog abit bahx.. n yeap.. new year new resolution.. my resolution for tis year is simple.. get my license.. earn alot of money.. n most imptly.. hav another good n stable year wif my precious.. so yea.. tats jus all for is year..

done wif blogging for now.. n gus i will be resting myself since my honey is busy wif her work.. heex.. jia you jia you honey k.. u can n u will do it de.. rember out promises k.. hugs & loves..

lalalala

2007-12-16T22:53:00.001+08:00

haven been blogging for some time again.. hahas.. was abit kinda lazy to blog bahx.. lols.. cant balme mi though.. heex..

so now.. jus let mi rewind abit n talk abt wat happen recently bahx.. hav been on off since thurs till now.. was kinda tiring n quite unhappy abt some work tings lahx.. so yea.. take tis chance to relax n enjoy myself n oso as to pei darling xinyii.. gus some muz be wondering y i cal her darling xinyii bahx.. its cos we hav patch back liaox le.. so yea.. its was sometime ago le.. din wanna say anything the other time.. but yea.. oso dunno y im saying out today.. hahas.. but yea.. there is nth to hide mahx.. so its alright to say out oso.. heex..

suppose to mit up on thurs de.. but den i was last min call to help my boss do something den jiu nv mit liaox le.. actually is not last min lahx.. is cfm quite sometime ago le.. onli tat i forgot abt it n my boss last min den remind mi again.. so its last min.. hahas.. do for the whole day.. den jiu went back hm to rest liaox le..

friday came n was waiting for darling to come over my place.. had a simple lunch at my place den jiu went on to vivo for our movie le.. watch THE WARLORDS & ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS.. both were nice shows lahx.. so jiu spend our whole afternoon watching show liaox le.. bought a pair of shoe from converse oso.. linda quite like the design.. head back to my place n mit my fren for dinner tgt.. continue to talk till 8+ b4 sending darling to cab back hm.. sometime after darling reach hm i jiu oso went back hm liaox..

den came sat.. woke up ard 8+ to wait for darling as i tot she will reach like the other day.. but yea.. darling oversleep n came late.. but yea.. early or late.. as long as she is here jiu hao le.. so yea.. slack at hm for awhile.. afterwhich headed over to joyce hse at boon lay.. jus pei her there cos i dun noe the ppl there much too.. sit for awhile jiu left le as we wanna watch THE GOLDEN COMPASS.. but den we miss both time slot so jiu din wanna watch liaox le.. other days bahx.. head back hm to slack n help our babies (hams) bathe.. but tink babies were kinda afraid bahx.. cos its her first time up close to them..

waited till ard 8 lidat n left hm to mit my fren for dinner n went to kbox after tat.. been long since we last went kbox tgt to sing over nite liaox le.. open a bottle of chivas n allow darling to drink abit.. stayed n sing till ard 2 jiu left n went back my place n my fren go back to his hse liaox le.. cos all seems slpy liaox le.. n darling reach my place jiu lie flat liaox le.. hahas.. lazy bum bum.. lols.. slp till tis morning abt 8 lidat jiu wake up to wash up n continue slack on bed awhile den jiu went off to send darling back liaox.. so yea..

reach back hm n continue to slp till afternoon lidat den wake up.. hahas.. was tired lahx.. canot blame.. lols.. afterwhich watch show for the whole day till jus stop not long ago onli.. gonna go slp soon again liaox le.. n will be waiting for darling to come over again tml after her sch den decide where n wat to do again for tml bahx.. so yea.. gonna wait for darling to cal or wat i oso dunno.. nvm.. shall c how bahx..

tired n dulan

2007-12-08T19:49:00.000+08:00

tired tired tired tired.. had been working the whole day for the past 2 days.. onli today finish early abit.. but oso not say early lahx.. is cos shipment is delayed tats y will finish early.. if not i tink now i oso still haven come hm yet.. so yea.. tired..

n dulan lahx.. veri dulan wif my family de ppl.. they jus suck.. suck to the core.. but im not going to say wat happen.. so yea.. its okie.. gone..

tired n lazy

2007-12-05T20:18:00.000+08:00

haven been rly blogging recently.. cos was busy n was kinda lazy to blog.. n someone has been complain tat i haven been blogging.. so today jiu come back blog abit lohx.. heex..

hav been damn busy lahx.. cos new year reaching liaox le.. den got more n more cargo coming in le.. so from now on i will even hav lesser time to blog n will be even more lazy to blog liaox le.. hahas.. hmmm.. dunno wat to blog abt liaox le oso.. so yea.. gus im going to slp soon le bahx..

as for those hu wanna noe wat is going on abt my daily life.. sms mi ask mi lohx.. hahas. but i gus no one will bahx.. cos hu will be so wu liaox.. hahas.. k lahx.. gus tats all for now.. going off again le.. ciaos..

tired tired

2007-11-22T20:19:00.000+08:00

been abt 1 week since my last update le bahx.. was so damn busy for the last whole week sia.. so got no time for updates..

tis week still okie bahx.. wasnt as busy but monday was a veri veri tiring day.. got alot of work to do.. den tues was a relaxing day.. got jus 1 container but den still finish work abt 7 i tink.. i forgot le.. was late due to waiting n all.. den went to buy somethings jiu go hm liaox le..

ytd was a off day.. so yea.. stayed at hm n rest n there is something else more.. but its for mi to noe jiu can le.. so yea.. n it will onli be noe onli thru my own space..

today was kinda tired oso lahx.. finish work abt 2+ den jiu went hm liaox le.. bathe myself n bathe my hamsters too.. heex.. den after tat jiu went to slp till jus got up for dinner.. but tink awhile more i jiu going to slp again liaox le bahx.. gonna become a pig real soon le.. hehe..

good day

2007-11-16T14:39:00.000+08:00

been quite a few days nv update liaox le.. but yea.. oso got nth much for mi to update now le bahx.. cos nowadays jus onli work work n work.. haha.. work more earn more.. den cai got money to spend more mahx.. ;x

last few days de work was quite alot bahx.. den oways reach hm jiu veri tired liaox le.. so most of the time is reach hm bathe eat den jiu slp liaox le.. den next day wake up work again.. but lucky today onli got 1 container onli.. so yea.. jiu finish veri early.. so today is a good day to mi bahx.. finish work early i jiu can stay at hm slack n slp more.. lol.. im becoming a pig real soon.. haha..

dunno wat i can do now oso.. lappy is lag.. cant play game.. com spoil.. yet to get a new one.. but soon le bahx i gus.. show load veri slow oso cos i tapping ppl wireless.. my own internet dunno wats wrong canot use.. but yea.. not gonna care it first till i get my com done den jiu will get my internet up again oso..

gus after updating tis i will be going to slp liaox le bahx.. feeling slpy liaox le.. heex.. n anyway.. if i din update for quite some time is cos either im lazy or no time.. no MIA okie.. lols.. will be back again but dunno when.. ;x

boring day

2007-11-11T17:42:00.000+08:00

was feeling so damn bored today lahx.. got no work today oso.. plus nv go out oso.. so yea.. feeling abit kinda sick oso.. not feeling well..

ytd was a busy day.. went to work early in the morning n continue on till abt 8+ den finish work.. after tat got hm to bathe n change den jiu went out again.. went to the airport wif jonathan to send leong off.. den after tat send his gf hm n we both jiu oso went hm liaox le..

actually feel like going to jalan kayu eat prata de.. but den wasnt in the mood to go n was feeling tired liaox le.. so jiu give it a miss le lohx.. reach hm slack n watch tv awhile jiu go slp till tis afternoon den wake up le.. got no where to go oso.. so gus i will be jus staying at hm all the way bahx..

there will be work tml again.. everyday jiu jus work work n work jiu enuf le bahx.. back to my working life.. its the best..

im back

2007-11-09T18:48:00.000+08:00

finally im back after being away for so long.. but yea.. i might still not be online tat often bahx.. cos im waiting for my cpu to come.. den onli i will get my internet fix.. as for now if onli got wireless to tap den i will onli bahx.. :)

been away for tis time n hav tink alot liaox le.. n gus im alright le bahx.. everything is back to normal for mi now again le.. wont tink so much anymore le bahx.. all i can say is if wat is mine its will be mine.. wats not mine no matter wat i do it oso wont be mine de.. so yea.. i wont be so persistent anymore le..

n during tis time when im gone.. i learn to c hu r my real n true frens.. n thks to all those hu care n those hu did left a tag.. im back now le.. so no nd worry anymore k.. as for val.. im back liaox le.. soon enuf mahx?? hahas.. n as for zhuu.. gus xinyi ans ur question liaox le bahx.. yea.. i nv tio tai ji.. but mia nia.. but yea.. i was drinking almost everyday tat time.. but stop liaox le bahx.. so yea..

being hit hard

2007-10-13T20:07:00.000+08:00

jus got back hm onli.. was out from ytd till now.. n i still haven slp yet till now.. aint feeling tired at all.. or maybe izzit tat my heart is dead liaox le.. im not sure oso.. ever since ytd nite.. i jus cant feel anything anymore le.. dun feel drunk when im drinking.. dun feel tired when i din slp at all n still continue go to work.. i jus cant feel anything now..

got back from work ytd in the early afternoon.. actually wanna mit bi go watch resident evil de.. but yea.. she told mi was miting him.. so yea.. jiu din mit liaox le.. but in the morning she sms mi tell mi not mitng liaox le.. as she is not feeling well.. but after tat she change her mind n mit him still.. wanted to go register for my driving de.. but jiu totally no mood to do anything liaox le..

den recieve a cal from zip telling mi something.. n after hearing tat i rush my way down to ps.. im not gonna say wat i saw or wat bahx.. its enuf for mi myself to noe jiu can liaox le.. at the moment when i heard tat.. it seems tat my heart jiu stop le.. i was feeling so sad so sad.. so sad to the extend i cant control my tears while im on cab down too..

reach there n found her at long john.. she seems so happy.. but the more pain tat i feel.. went to find her n talk to her.. shall not say wat we talk abt bahx.. but yea.. after tat we jiu each went off for our movies le.. recieve a cal from her after her show.. den jiu went to find her lohx.. n tis leads to alot of other tings.. i learn to noe alot other tings which i maybe wont get to noe if tat din happen..

so we went to the carpark there to talk abt it.. but talk talk den everything jiu start to go awfully wrong le.. but i gus there was some misunderstanding on wat im trying to say to her bahx.. n she told mi she choose him.. her words rly hard mi real hard n real pain.. at tat point of time.. i almost jus breakdown.. den she jiu jus walk off wif out even turning her head back to give mi a last look.. n i rly breakdown real soon after tat.. can say tat its the first time i drop my tears in public in front of so many ppl.. everyone was like looking at mi.. but i jus got no energy to care abt them anymore.. so jus continue sit at one corner n cry the hell out of mi..

was feeling so damn pek chek when i hear wat he told mi tat she said to him.. tats y i was so unhappy n sad.. imy heart feel so pain when i heard tat.. its jus like as if u got stab by millions of knifes.. i would rather she rly stab mi so tat the pain will jus goes off after awhile n i will be gone for good.. nd not worry abt anything anymore.. tis jus isnt mi at all.. even when wif irene in the past.. i din feel so much pain oso.. but the pain tis time is jus so great.. too great tat till i rly cant take it liaox le.. at tat time i told myself to give up n i took off our rings n necklace.. but dunno y as i walk.. i took it out n put it on once again wif out mi noeing.. gus like kenneth hav said bahx.. i jus cant seem to be able to let go.. she is already like part of my life le.. losing her de pain is like cutting myself apart..

was feeling so bad tat i din wanna go back hm.. so jiu follow kenneth thry all to watch resident evil once again.. its a rly nice show so its worth to watch a second time bahx.. after movie.. mi n ken jiu slowly walk n made our way back to my hse.. was having lots of talks on lots of tings.. bought beer all tat n when up to my hse n drink.. jus drink n drnk n drink.. till morning den i jiu straight go work le n he went back hm..

finish work today n jiu went to cityhall to mit her.. suppose to get back my tings from her de.. but yea.. i din wan to.. i dun wan to oso.. its jus i rly she bu de.. n i din bring any of her tings too.. walk to ms there n sit down to talk.. i will once again not say wat we talking abt.. was feeling so sad while talking to her abt tat.. den after tat she wanna cut hair.. so jiu bring her go chapter 2.. but got alot of ppl there le.. so hav to wait quite long den end up jiu din cut le.. as she was having headaches.. so jiu took cab n send her back hm.. but while in the cab.. i hav got no idea when did she took out her ring n put it into my pocket wif even mi noeing..

i onli get to noe after she has alighted n sms tell mi.. quickly search my pocket to find the ring.. n yea.. i rly found it in my pocket.. at the moment when i saw thr ring.. i gus i hav rly totally breakdown liaox le bahx.. i was jus so stunt to c tat.. i din expect tat to happen de.. i wasnt prepare for it oso.. it came so sudden n rly knock mi rite onto the ground.. tried my best to control my feelings.. n till now im still trying veri hard.. wo xian zai zhen de gan jue hen xinku hen tongku.. i dunno wat does she mean by jus returning mi the ring by putting it in my pocket.. haix.. im so sad..

but yea.. i will jus take it as im temp keeping the ring for u.. n i wan to return u once u tink its hao le.. wo hui yi zi teng dao ni hui lai xiang wo yao hui na ge jie zi de.. wo hui yong yuan de teng zhe ni de.. yong yuan de teng dai.. wo zhen de hen xi wang ni hui hui lai gen wo na hui ta.. it wasnt wat i wan to get back the ring from u de.. i hav nv wanted to get it back from u.. i wanted it to be urs forever de.. :(

how i wish we will oways be like today

2007-10-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

jus got back hm from a day out wif bi.. went to work in the morning today.. finish off ard 11+.. den jiu went hm n wash up den jiu leave hm to mit her liaox le.. bring out some presents which i bought for bi earlier.. actually its was meant for our 11th mth de.. but yea.. gus now its oso no use keeping them wif mi le.. so might as well give it to her.. if not it will oso end up in the rubbish bin oso..

mit bi at 230 at ps.. the usual place tat we use to wait for each other.. reach kinda early so jiu went to zone x to play game.. but den got alot of ppl there playing.. so yea.. din get to play n bi jiu come liaox le.. went over to swensens for lunch.. cos its as promise.. i said to her b4 tat when i start work i will give her a good life.. n now tat im working i muz keep to my words still..

after eating we jiu slowly walk over to cine there for kbox.. went straight up n sing sing sing sing.. b4 we started singing.. i took out the presents n put them on for her.. its a necklace n an anklet wif a pandant.. n the jacket too.. but dunno y sing half way suddenly jiu got tears star to roll down my face le.. gus the songs r all too sad le bahx.. n most of them kinda explain my feelings n wat i wanna say now..

so yea.. continue singing till abt 9 lidat.. wanna bring bi go eat de.. but she say she not hungry den jiu okie lohx.. so jiu train to tamp n once again walk her back hm.. i kinda miss all tis feelings.. n when we walk to her doorstep.. i rly is kinda she bu de part wif her again.. was feeling damn emo while walking her hm bahx.. sorry bi.. i din show out is cos i dun wan u to c.. dun wan u to worry.. so yea..

after tat cab hm as my auntie slps early n my kor isnt at hm.. dun wanna wake her up from her slp.. so yea.. reach hm bathe n cook maggi eat.. den jiu online liao le.. so jiu came to blog.. dunno if she will blog tonite anot.. but yea.. shall c how bahx.. but bi.. i hope u will like the presents tat i got for u.. n the jacket as well.. n tat u did enjoy ur day out wif mi today.. rly thks alot.. n gus today i hav rly been a good boy bahx.. those tings tat u hav long i hav all done them today le.. din fierce to u.. be nice n gently wif u n treat u like a xiao gong zhu.. even on smoking i had oso reduce liaox le.. today whole day i onli smoke 2 sticks onli.. alot better den wat i hav told u which is 1 pack for 3 days rite.. xi wang ni jing tian shi hen kai hen kai xin de..

n as for now.. i will jus wait n wait n wait bahx.. but as the day draws nearer.. im becoming more n more uneasy.. or shld i say im feeling afraid.. i dunno.. but its not tat i got no xing xin.. its jus tat im not prepare to face if there is anything bad.. but its okie.. i will still wanna wait for it.. give mi abit more time k.. afew more day for mi to tune back to the past.. so yea.. zui ai hai shi ni.. zhe shi wo de jue ding.. <33

actually i still hav got lots to say.. but yea.. i nd to go slp liaox le.. as there is still work for mi tml.. so yea..goona keep to my words n take good care of myself..

wo hai shi xin luan le..

2007-10-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

im not going to say much here.. but its jus tat i jus cant take it tat some idiots r rly so damn selfish.. onli tinks for themselve n nv consider how others will be feeling n all.. onli interested in getting wat they wan do n in their hands.. causing so much trouble among others..

was damn mad wif her jus now.. all the tings were out today.. every single ans is out today.. i admit i was rly damn mad wif her.. n i tot of not forgiving her.. but after i c her lidat.. i already got no yong qi to carry on liaox le.. c her lidat i jiu xin luan liaox le.. zhen de hen bu she de to c her lidat.. the pain to c her lidat is more den the pain she has done on mi.. i dunno y oso.. no matter how she treat mi or wat wrong ting she do.. i will still be veri concern abt her.. can say she is more impt den anything else in the world i can hav..

so now.. gonna wait awhile more n go slp liaox le.. as there will be a little work to do.. jus abit.. den afternoon i will be miting her out.. gus im gonna bring her to some place where she can relax n let her feeling out.. in any case i will be there to listen if she nd a listening ear..

im burning

2007-10-10T14:37:00.000+08:00

was feeling damn piss jus now lahx.. but yea.. im not saying wat cause tat.. it will be enuf for mi to noe jiu can liaox le bahx.. n im sorry for talking to u so fierce.. sorry okie..

everything was jus as i hav gus.. all rite from the beginning bahx.. i gus i was nv wrong at all.. i hav nv fail on seeing ppl.. there are jus too many such idiots ard in the world nowadays.. but no onli there r tis idiots.. there r alot other kind of ppl too.. u can nv predict wats on their mind tat they r tinking or trying to do.. some wif those evil plans in their mind.. tats y i choose to not trust anyone ard mi.. not even my family member.. its not tat im being over sensative or wat bahx.. its jus precaution..

but watever it is.. those idiots ard hu hav evil plans ahead tinking will nv come to a good end.. although they might suceed in their plan.. but wat goes ard comes ard.. we shall c k.. so no worries.. i wont cuo quai hao ren de.. i hav my own eye to c n own ears to hear.. i wont let tis ppl take control of my life or try to harm mi.. so idiots.. foffa from mi b4 i turns nasty.. ;x hahas..

i may be joking or i may be not oso.. so yea.. so tink b4 u wanna do anything idiots..

haix..

2007-10-10T12:39:00.000+08:00

din slp much last nite.. n i jus got back from work oso.. but still i dun feel tired at all.. wat i feel now is xin tong again.. i dunno y im lidat oso.. haix..

came back hm n went to her blog as usual.. ting were better le i gus.. but after i c her taggie.. haix.. dunno y i feel so shang xin again le.. there was one where she reply someone mistook alex as mi n wanna angry her liaox le.. so wat does she means by tis?? hu is the someone.. n was is the someone actually trying to do now..

n i saw somethings again.. but nvm bahx.. suan le bahx.. wo bu xiang zai shuo liaox le.. the more ii say the more heartbreak i am.. so jus wat is happening n all rite now.. can some kind soul pls tell mi mahx.. haix.. t.t

im seriously hurt n sad..

useless emo idiot

2007-10-08T23:00:00.000+08:00

i dunno wat is happening to mi now.. i seems kinda going bonkers now liaox le.. is there anyone out there now tat can save mi mahx.. hu is there to help mi.. =[

was tinking thru everything jus now.. i dunno y i will start to tink abt all tis oso.. but yea.. from all my tinking jus now.. i gus all the problems lies on mi bahx.. its jus mi i gus.. its jus mi not being able to control myself.. its jus mi oways starting all the quarrels.. its jus mi oways keep say her.. its jus mi oways giving her so much pressure bahx i tink.. everything is mi.. jus mi i gus.. but im tinking.. if anyone were in the situation tat im in.. how would u all feel or do abt it.. can tell mi mahx.. although there is nth i can do now.. now i rly hope to noe in wat ways am i wrong in.. seriously pls tell mi hao mahx..

was tinking oso.. in the beginning y am i working so hard everyday to earn tis xue han qian till my body r aching here n there but i still continue to work.. y am i doing all tis lehx.. y do i hav to work so hard.. n the ans is.. cos i wanted to give her a better life from now on.. wan to fulfil her wish to lead a tai tai life.. wanna help support her uni sch fees if she rly wans to continue study.. wanna be able to get her anything tat she wans or likes.. wanna give her everything the best.. but is it still possible now mahx?? if its not possible anymore den shld i continue to work so hard mahx?? or shld i jus slack off n work to earn enuf for mi to eat n spend jiu hao le.. anyone out there to tell mi mahx??

the tot of putting tattoo once again came into my mind again.. i dunno y.. jus like the other time.. cos of the impact made of mi cause mi to go put the 3 words on my back.. n now i hav the feeling once again.. but y.. is it tat the pain can temp bring my attention away so tat i will feel better.. or is it cos i wanna rember tat tis is the pain tat i hav gone thru.. i rly dunno.. but still.. i din went to put.. as its a promise made.. i said i will stop putting anymore tattoos.. hope i can rly keep to tis promise i made..

dunno y as i tink n say abt all tis.. my tears jiu will auto start to flow down.. t.t tried to control it.. tried to stop it.. but i cant.. i failed again le.. gus im oways so useless bahx.. =[

><

2007-10-08T19:29:00.000+08:00

i dunno wanna bog on wat oso.. but tink i jus blog abit bahx.. jus some simple updates on my daily life..

wasnt feeling good ytd.. n neither is today good oso.. haven been feeling good for quite afew days liaox le.. ever since from tat day.. wo zhen de gan jue hen tong.. gus wo shi zhen de shuo shang le bahx.. am oways feeling emo emo emo.. but i still doesnt wanna tell ppl abt it.. quite afew ppl sms mi ask mi abt wat actually happen.. but im still keeping it to myself.. ><

went to work tis morning as usual.. but den.. the container came late.. so jiu finish off late.. but den at woodlands still got 1 more.. but when we reach there the person den say dun wanna open.. its like wtf.. wasted our money to go down there.. haix.. so jiu cab back to redhill wif the rest..

as im working for the whole day.. i was all the way waiting to c if i will recieve any sms from her.. but yea.. i din recieve any sms from her for the whole day oso.. not even last nite bahx.. still rember when we say going slp le sms mi.. but when i wake up in the morning nth is there to c at all.. haix.. im so use to having her by my side liaox le.. is like she is already part of my life liaox le.. now tat i dun hav her anymore.. im jus so not use to it.. its jus like as though i cant live wif out her anymore.. or maybe shld i say i rly cant live wif her anymore le.. haix.. wat am i suppose to do now.. rly feeling so lost so dunno wat to do..

tink tat all le bahx.. off to emo again le..

feeling so emo once again

2007-10-07T17:18:00.000+08:00

haix.. i dunno wat is happening to mi oso lahx.. jus keep feeling emo emo emo.. whenever i read her blog jiu will lidat.. haix..

ytd when to mit her for lunch at tamp.. went to eat pizza hut.. as i dunno when is the next time i can c her again.. so jiu bring her go eat better food bahx.. took cab down to her hse n fetch her.. was kinda controlling my tears when i c her.. din talk at all in the cab.. till we reach tm den got talk abit..

after lunch went to walk ard for awhile.. den after tat took bus to woodlands as i hav work.. reach there n its raining.. so waited for awhile den we started work.. finish everything ard 8 lidat.. actually was planning to go kbox wif her in the nite de.. but den she say her mummy dun let her go out so jiu nv mit liaox le..

i wasnt pissed off or wat oso.. i dunno y lahx.. but its jus tat im kinda use to it liaox le bahx.. everytime when i nd someone to be there for mi jiu cant find anyone de.. haix.. so im kinda xi guan liaox le bahx.. end up when to find kenneth at holland v de eski bar.. went to drink.. was kinda having a little high de feeling lahx.. but still not drunk yet..

sms her n tell her my feelings last nite.. i dunno if she will listen or will jus c n forget abt it.. but i will still jus wait.. wait n wait n wait.. went to eat abit b4 going back to kenneth hse.. den talk awhile b4 we went to slp bahx.. had quite a nice slp on his cozy bed.. been long since i went to his hse to slp over liaox le..

woke up ard 12+ today morning.. den eat breakfast n slack awhile den jiu leave his hm ard 3+ lidat bahx i tink.. cab n send him to tanjong pagar there n i continue my way back.. reach hm n start com n first ting like usual is to read her blog.. but everytime when i c her blog.. i jiu feel like as though million of needles r piercing into mi.. the pain to c all those tings.. i noe we broke up le.. n i hav got no rite to say anything or comment on anything.. but u noe.. wo shi yi ge you gan jue de ren lehx.. wo bu shi yi ge mei gan jue de si ren.. jus tis few days n there is so many sweet talks here n there.. or maybe am i invisible to them all.. huhs?? after we broke up someone seems to hav more freedom n more fang bian to say anything as he wans le..

i seriously dunno wat i shld say or i can say.. i rly dunno liaox le.. she told mi not to lidat.. but how do u wan mi not to lidat.. im nv like wat.. its jus normal human feelings n one has.. if u were to c anyone having sweet talks wif mi jus few days after all tis tat happen ni hui zhe me xiang.. i noe u may say u wont say anything.. jus like wat u will oways say.. but is it rly wat u mean n feel mahx?? haix..

anyway jus some updates bahx.. finally i got myself into trouble ytd during work liaox le bahx.. i jus cant get to concentrate myself at doing anything.. no matter its during work or not.. i jus cant.. n ytd due to tis.. i bang onto someone's car.. n now i still dunno wat will happen.. not sure if the insurance will be able to cover the cost mahx.. haix.. i hav rly got myself into big trouble now le.. ><

super emo

2007-10-06T12:41:00.000+08:00

jus woke up not long ago.. bathe n was all prepare to go out le.. but there is oways last min de ting bahx.. jus nice as i was opening the door to go out.. she sms mi saying she not feeling well so dun wanna mit le.. was feeling so pek chek wif myself lahx.. so jiu jus close back the door n went back into the room..

i was so happy n so eager to c her.. but i gus its jus bai kai xin le yi chang bahx.. den dunno y.. im feeling so super damn emo now again.. so lucky tat no one is awake to c mi crying now..i oso dunno y suddenly i will start crying again.. jus feeling damn sad lahx.. my xin is jus so tong now.. tong to the extend i rly dunno how to describe it now..

came back into the room n on com.. once in the first ting i did was to go into her blog to read if there is any updates.. but yea.. there is no updates but.. i was kinda veri sad when i c something.. i aint the first in her everything liaox le.. not anymore le bahx i gus.. tink someone has already taken over my place in her liaox le..

tats y sometimes i say.. even if rly one day im gone she will still hav lots of others to care for her to love her.. n now tings hav prove mi rite le bahx.. so afterall.. am i still tat impt to her in her life anymore mahx.. i dunno.. n i dunno if i still wanna noe anymore anot.. i kinda rly cant take tis type of ta ji anymore liaox le.. im breaking down le..

anyway.. i can blame no one at all.. its my fault for all tis tat happens.. i aint a good bf at all.. i dunno y i jus cant take it tat she has change to wat she is now n y i jus cant control but to say her.. if i jus accept her changes n all n not saying her.. i gus everything will be still fine bahx.. i hate myself tons.. qian cuo wan cuo duo shi wo de cuo..

gus i going out liaox le bahx.. even if its jus mi alone going out.. i can go somewhere quiet somewhere wif less ppl to let my feelings out.. gus im jus a crybaby afterall bahx.. good bye ppl.. n rly thks alot for those hu do rly care for mi.. rly thks alot.. n is there anyone out there willing to go drink wif mi mahx.. if there is pls cal or sms mi pls.. thks..

feeling so lost inside mi

2007-10-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

jus got back from a day of work.. n im kinda no feeling tired at all.. not any at all.. i dunno y.. jus dun feel good bahx i tink.. n now its nite time le.. but nowadays i jus hate the nite.. sometimes nite seems kinda scary to mi bahx.. as there is oways bad tings happening during the nite..

so yea.. in the past.. i will be scare tat we might get into quarrels in the nite during fone cals.. n jus early ytd everything jiu jus lidat ended.. n its happens in the nite too.. everything is oso in the nite.. n wats worse is nite time is the time when im free.. n thoughs will jus come back to haunt mi once again..

my boss ask mi wat happen to mi jus tis afternoon.. he say usually i will be making alot of noise n talking ard.. but i hav been talking much except when they ask mi something.. n he oso says tat i look so dead like a huo si ren lidat.. but i din tell him anything.. i din wanna let anyone noe abt wat had happen n all.. but am i rly lidat for the past 2 days mahx? i myself oso not sure at all.. dunno wat hav i been tinking oso.. haven been able to concentrate on work oso.. ytd while driving nearly knock onto someone.. den today bang the wall while driving again.. haix.. i jus cant concentrate at all..

other den during work.. i oso cant concentrate myself on doing anything.. my kor hav been asking wats wrong cos he say i keep at there fa dai.. n oso they said i hav been forgeting tings easily now.. i can ask or say abt something now n ask abt it awhile later.. but i jus cant rember i did ask or say abt it at all.. did i.. how come i dun even realise it myself.. but i still din not tell anyone abt tis.. gus i will jus keep tis all to myself bahx.. haveb been feeling good until now oso.. my heart still hurts alot alot.. rly alot.. but i hav to put up a strong n happy face in front of everyone when deep inside mi im feeling so down so sad..

hav been crying myself quietly to slp tis 2 nites.. jus kinda cant control at all.. i dunno y im lidat.. jus as the sky turns dark.. my world turns dark tgt wif it.. n my tear jiu will wanna start to flow down again liaox le.. its so xinku to keep control the feelings.. but i got no choice but to continue n control it bahx i tink..

jus read her blog jus now.. after reading finish everything.. i feel kinda happy tat she is feeling better liaox le bahx.. its good tat she will be able to let go bahx.. cos i cant bear to c her being unhappy or struggling to overcome tis.. wan xinku jiu let mi xinku alone bahx.. its okie wif mi de.. was chatting wif her awhile ago onli.. tink there was some misunderstanding jus now bahx.. but now okie liaox le..

okie.. tinking im gonna stop liaox le.. i dun even noe wat am i talking abt now oso.. enuf of my craps le bahx..

would we hav the chance to be tgt again mahx.. feeling so lost..

simple post

2007-10-04T22:14:00.000+08:00

jus back for a simple post bahx.. dunno wat to blog abt oso.. i oso dunno wat to say anymore le..

did fall aslp for awhile last nite after the ting.. but den awhile jiu wake up liaox le.. went to work as usual.. but dunno y i keep like xin bu zai yan lidat.. den while driving forklift nearly knock on someone.. but lucky nv.. if not de hua jiu jialat liaox le..

din hav the wei kou to eat anything oso.. bought mee pok dry for lunch today.. but i onli eat abit nia den jiu cant eat liaox le.. was feeling so full sia.. den while working i oso keep blur blur de.. tot by working it will keep mi busy so tat i wont hav the time to tink so much.. but still its no use.. im still tinking oso..

we still did sms today jus like normal lidat.. but whenever i c her sms i jiu will tink of her liaox le..like i say liaox le.. i hav love u too much till i cant afford to lost u anymore liaox le.. wif out u i seem so empty in mi.. but like wat u told mi jus now.. hope during tis period of time we can take the time to chill off n tink carefully n den decide wat to do after u finish ur poly bahx..

n lastly.. i still wanna say..no matter how u treat mi or wat.. i still love u the way i use to do in the past.. nth will ever be able to change it de.. n zhe shi zhen de.. i love u xinyi..

back to single life again

2007-10-04T00:27:00.000+08:00

once again.. im back to my original life.. back to my single life once again.. its no longer impt hu is the one hu ask for the break up le bahx.. although its not wat i wanted.. but i hav got no choice.. since u hav already lidat say liaox le.. so yea.. there is nth i can do.. i cant be begging n say pls dun break wif mi.. although i can rly no longer live wif out u anymore.. but gus i still hav to try my best le bahx..

all the memories will be kept rite deep in my heart.. i will nv forget them all.. rite from the day when we noe each other.. to the day we got tgt.. till today tat everything ended.. nv will i ever forget anything abt it..

how we get to noe each other for the first time.. the first time we went out tgt.. the first time u ton over at my hse to play mahjong wif us.. the first movie we watch wif each other.. although not all the tickets r wif mi.. maybe some of them r wif u i dunno.. but im sure gonna keep it all.. the first bday celebrating wif u.. the first present i gave u as a bday present which u actually wanted to return mi.. the way u accepted mi.. the way u treated mi in the past.. how we had our sweet talks on fone every nite in the last.. the hearts n stars tat u hav fold for mi.. i hav all kept them in my cupboard.. our first valentine day tgt wif each other.. n oso the time when i wore on our ring for u.. everything will be remembered n keep deep in my heart..

seriously i dunno wat has cause all tis to happen.. all the changes n all.. how u hav change to become so different from the past.. but now.. its okie n i dun nd to noe anymore le bahx.. everything has ended wif a full stop liaox le.. no matter how u hav treat mi now or in the past.. everything will be oways kept in mi.. thks for all the happy times n memories we had tgt wif each other.. thks for changing mi to wat i am now.. wif out u i tink i will still be a nth till now.. still be as useless as wat i use to be in the past.. rly thks u alot..

although im not fit to say tis to u anymore le.. but i still wanna say tis to u one last time.. n its baby.. i rly do love u alot alot.. do take good care of urself from now onwards when i aint there for u anymore le.. rember to hav ur meals regularly.. n score will for ur final year.. hope u can get good results n go into uni as u oways wish to.. if u were to encounter any problem be free to cal or sms mi.. i will still be oways there for u de..

n once again.. thks for everything again.. if there is a chance i hope we can get tgt once again..

blah

2007-10-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

watever it is.. its oways oos my fault one.. no matter wat is the problem its oso oways my fault.. everything is jus mi mi n mi.. nvm.. one oways the bad guy the bad person.. okie.. happy now..

u kup my cal cos of the way im talking to u rite.. okie.. my fault again.. u got nth wrong by denying anything tat u hav done tat i ask u jus now hor.. its my fault again tat i ask y u sms half way jiu nv reply.. u got no wrong by sms mi halfway den jiu jus lidat went offo to do ur other ting n leave mi there waiting.. my fault again to ask u y u nv online.. my fault again to be so kpo on ur ting.. everything oso my fault.. u r nv at fault at all.. nv ever once..

fine den..i shall not say anything more..cos wat i say oso no use.. im oways at fault.. so wats the point to say so much rite.. blah..

so piss off now

2007-10-03T22:29:00.001+08:00

wat the fuck lahx.. oways got my cals kup.. wats the meaning of tat sia.. fuck.. jus y cant u ever admit tat u hav done something n still wanna deny it lehx.. can u tell mi y anot.. whenever i ask or say u something tat u hav done.. u would oways say u nv u tis u tat..

wat did i say wrong abt u tat u oways oso sms halfway jiu gone liaox.. i din say anythig wrong mahx.. its true tat u oways oso lidat wat.. wat so big deal to admit tat u r lidat.. nth wrong wat.. the more u deny abt it the more unhappy i will be.. y cant u jus admit it n keep wanna deny deny lehx.. i seriously dun understand at all..

whenever i ask u something.. u oso sure got something or some reason to say back one.. no matter wat i say u.. i dunno how much of tat is true n how much of tat r lies oso.. but i hope tat all u hav told mi r all the true..

u noe tat i dun like my cals being kup.. n u keep do it time n time again.. its jus like u purposely wanna do tat to make mi even more piss off wat.. so wat r u trying to show by tis huh.. u ownself go n tink lahx.. sometimes when u say mi i jiu jus keep quiet n listen u say.. but u lehx.. y jus cant u huh.. wats so difficult..

i dunno u lahx.. if u tink tis is rite den go ahead n keep on do tis den.. try going ard n doing tis to everyone.. whenever someone say u den u jiu lidat.. c wat will happen in the end.. n now wat.. cal u back dun wanna pick up dun wanna reply.. jus oways running away from ur problem n dun wanna face it dun wanna admit it.. am i correct anot.. if u tink u r not wrong den reply mi lahx.. reason wif mi den.. prove to mi tat u r not in the wrong.. or r u jus feeling guilty den dun dare to pick up or reply..

finally got a day rest

2007-10-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

was working ytd too.. but veri early jiu finish liaox le.. so yea.. after finih work den jiu went back hm to bathe n all.. sms bi asking if she coming out but got no reply all the way till ard 3 lidat.. was kinda not veri happy tat she everyday oso lidat slp lahx.. but end up we oso nv mit up.. so yea.. stay at hm n wacth show.. but fall aslp while waiting for the show to load.. tink was too tired le bahx..

slp till abt 10+ lidat den wake up.. sms bi n ask her abt today how.. cos today i nv work mahx.. after tat jiu went back to slp till abt 10 tis morning den wake up.. super long nv lidat slp liaox le sia.. slowly prepare den left hm ard 1215 lidat.. took bus to orchard mrt there to mit her..

reach le dden wait awhile more bi jiu come liaox le.. walk to taka to eat pepper lunch for lunch.. after tat went to far east to buy a belt.. ask bi wanna buy anything anot but she say nv c anything nice oso.. so jiu went to heeren there to c.. n end up buying a shorts at there.. bi says its kinda tight bahx.. dunno.. wash le c will losse abit mahx lohx.. anyway dun wear so loose mahx..

slowly walk to ps there.. go into arcade to play afew games.. after tat went to take 23 back to tamp.. bought some sweet n tibits den jiu take cab to send bi back n i jiu continue my way back liaox le.. was kinda lazy to take train cos im having bodyaches all over..

jus now sms wif bi halfway dunno y jiu nv reply le.. den after tat reply 1 msg den you dunno gone to where liaox le.. till now still got no replies from her at all yet.. aiya.. dunno her lahx.. everytime oso lidat one.. dunno wanna say wat oso liaox le.. so yea.. bye..

tired tired tired

2007-10-01T21:46:00.001+08:00

feeling so tired sia.. hav been working almost everyday ever since last week.. although earn quite alot but its making mi feeling so so tired sia.. jus go till where jiu feel like lying down liaox le.. hahas.. n im kinda lazy oso le lahx.. after work jiu onli feel like slping onli.. lols..

ytd reach hm oso din feel like blogging oso.. cos too tired liaox le.. jus online msn awhile n chat den after tat jiu went to slp liaox le.. actually wanna watch show de.. but too tired to watch oso le bahx.. hahas..

woke up tis morning ard 615 lidat.. den bathe n change den you leave hm for work liaox le.. cos gotta reach by 730 mahx.. den after wake up n do all the ting jiu abt 630 liaox le.. so take bus there den jiu jus nice.. hahas.. work till abt 4 lidat den stop.. veri siong sia.. nowadays got so many containers coming.. work till everyone oso buay tahan liaox le.. lols..

after work jiu faster go hm liaox le.. cos i miting deariee at my hse there.. den went up pack my stuffs den jiu left hm n went to my aunty hse liaox le.. reach le den bathe n jead to my another aunty hse.. bought crab n satay up for dinner oso.. hahas.. long long time den eat one time good food mahx.. so still okie bahx.. after tat slack awhile le den jiu went off liaox le.. cabbed back to my big aunt hse n bi continue her way hm from here.. wanna send her back de.. but u noe.. i muz save mahx.. so can save i jiu save lohx.. hope bi dun mind bahx..

n today is the start of some new tings.. jus for us to noe onli.. so wont be saying out bahx.. so yea.. as for now.. gonna go check some mails den after tat wait for bi to reach hm n cal le den jiu go slp le bahx.. so good nite everyone.. misses.. =]

oh ya.. for those hu dunno.. im not staying at my hse anymore liaox le.. i hav move to my aunty place to stay liaox le.. so yea.. from now on i muz reach hm ard 10 lidat liaox le.. cant be too late le.. if not de hua den i jiu shi muz stay out le.. if not go back late sure kana k one.. hahas.. ;x

bad bad day

2007-09-29T23:24:00.000+08:00

today is such a bad bad say to mi.. everything is jus so suckie can.. i hate all tis tings..

had some arguements wif bi last nite.. den after tat tink was okie le bahx.. so yea.. den jiu went to slp.. till tis morning wake up n go for work..

reach there den jiu start working liaox le.. was feeling so slpy sia.. boohoo.. but yea.. slpy still gotta work oso.. so no choice.. den till abt 1 den went to hav lunch.. after lunch continue work again till abt 5+ den finish bahx i tink.. cab down to redhill wif the rest.. den jiu took train to mit bi liaox le.. going to eat popeye for lunch..

everything so still so perfect at tis time till tat fucker called.. n tat fucker which was my dad started making noise.. like wtf lahx.. if got recal i myself wont noe de mehx.. nd u to teach mi wat to do mehx.. wtf.. den we end up wif a heated quarrel.. feel like going straight hm to ask him wat does he exactly wans.. fucking hell.. so wat if u r strong.. u wanna a poece of mi n come try get mi.. ccb..

eat popeye n slack awhile den jiu head back le.. send bi back hm den i jiu cab to my aunty hse.. dun feel like going back to c tat fucker face.. rly feel like whacking him liaox le.. i buay tahan liaox le..

there is gonna be work again tml.. tink not much bahx.. so hope it will finish off soon.. now going to slp liaox le bahx.. tired liaox le.. nites..

feeling bad n tired n body aching

2007-09-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

after so quite afew days le i still aint feeling good at all.. still feeling the same.. i hate it when im lidat.. n im rly tired to tink of anything anymore liaox le.. im both mentally n physically tired.. tired enuf after work le.. dun wanna tired myself anymore.. body is aching damn badly..

tink maybe i will be gone from here for quite sometimes bahx.. blah.. gones..

random post

2007-09-28T17:58:00.000+08:00

dunno wat to blog abt today.. so tink its shld be a short one bahx.. :)

continue from ytd bahx.. after blogging jiu lie flat liaox le sia.. den jiu slp all the way till tis morning den wake up.. nv eat dinner oso.. actually got load show wanna watch.. but u noe.. after lie down jiu lazy wake up le.. hahas.. ;x

went to work tis morning again.. but container still haven come yet.. den wait till pek chek sia.. ard 11+ den come.. end abt 1+ lidat bahx.. finish le den go eat lunch jiu go back hm liaox le..

wanna ask bi out today de.. as tml i will be working n dunno will work till wat time.. so today got free time jiu ask her wan anot.. but yea.. since im blogging now u shld noe the ans oso bahx.. nvm bahx.. suan le.. sms halfway jiu oso gone liaox le.. dunno wat she is so busy abt recently oso.. dun care bahx..

gonna go rest early tonite le.. tml will be a tiring day bahx.. cos got alot tml.. hope can finish as soon as possible.. ;)

back to working life

2007-09-27T17:01:00.000+08:00

back from one day de missing in blogging.. hahas.. cos ytd nv blog jiu go out le.. actually i wanna blog de.. but den quarrel wif my dad so jiu nv blog liaox le.. but anyway.. its jus one day nia mahx.. so still okie bahx..

suppose to start work next monday de.. but i ytd jiu start work liaox le.. cos kinda boring at hm n got nth to do.. den oso no one free to pei mi.. so yea.. jus be myself n go back to my working life bahx.. tats mi.. oways slogging my time away working.. n i find tat working kinda prevent mi from tinking so much.. but still sometimes i do still tink while at work lahx.. wat to do..

finish work ytd quite late.. den reach hm jiu ard 8 lidat le.. den bathe le actually wanna go mit kenneth eat de.. but den b4 i go out quarrel wif my dad.. so jiu jitao go out liaox le.. din went hm last nite.. went to mit kenneth den go hav dinner den walk walk all tis lohx.. till tis morning straight go work.. kinda stone tis morning lahx.. hahas..

den work work work.. n today.. the stupid container delay again.. i hate it when tis happens.. cos i will hav to wait wait wait.. oways wait.. everything oso wait de.. rwarr.. so end up finish everything ard 2+ lidat.. went to canteen n hav lunch first b4 i go back hm.. after tis 2 days of working.. i find myself slowly turning back to how i am b4 i go ns.. everyday jus wake up go work.. den work finish jiu go hm bathe rest n slp.. sometimes go out.. n im kinda happy abt tis.. although most of the time i alone.. but u noe.. although i dun like being alone but still its happier lidat.. no worries no nth..

n my dad.. pls lahx.. im already old enuf to tink n decide wat to do for myself.. u dun nd to teach mi wat to do or wat.. n pls stop ur nonsense can.. say ting say 1 time n tats it.. dun nd keep everyday repeat.. im already hearing tis from u since may le.. its been how many freaking mths liaox le n u r still repeat the same old stupid shit ting.. im old enuf to c hu is good to mi n hu is bad to mi.. n abt going where to work its not up to u to decide.. i shld be the one hu deicde it myself.. ur problem is ur problem.. dun bring ur problem into my life or my work n spoil tings ard.. so dun teach mi wat to do again.. i dun wan wat happen tis afternoon to happen again.. i noe wat im doing n i can decide for myself.. so yea..

feel so damn tired after ytd n today de work le.. so gus for now im gonna go lie on bed n get some rest le.. tml i will oso be working.. gonna work as hard as i can n earn n save it..

zhong chew jie & thoughs

2007-09-26T00:15:00.000+08:00

firstly wishing everyone zhong chew jie kuai le.. looking down from my window i can still c kids carrying lanterns walking ard n playing fire crackers.. n here im alone sitting by my window side staring into the sky like an idiot.. frankly to say.. i hav nv play wif all tat b4.. cos i dun hav tong nian.. i grew up in an enviorment fill wif gangsters n problem n all.. so yea..

n gus now the kids ard shld be enjoying mooncakes at hm bahx.. n yea.. mooncakes.. how do they taste like i oso dunno.. i gus will be tinking cfm anot.. nv play tis tings b4 nv eat mooncake b4.. believe anot its all up to u all bahx.. tinking of every year de tis day.. i would be oways tinking.. when will i ever get to eat one.. even if its jus a small bite bahx.. but u noe.. its jus tinking.. nth of it will come true..

jus like how i hav tink of all my relationships.. tinking tat i jus nd to put in my best efforts n everything will be fine everything will be okie.. but its has oways prove mi wrong.. i cant blame anyone for tis.. maybe its jus mi dunno how to love someone properly bahx.. or maybe its mi not noe-ing how to express myself good enuf.. im not sure abt it either.. but yea.. i can blame no one at all.. maybe not even myself.. cos tis is meant to be my life bahx i tink..

tml i will be working n nd to wake up early.. n i noe i shld be slping by now.. but i jus cant get to slp.. tried lying on bed closing my eyes.. but u noe.. my mind is still wide awake still.. tinking of tings.. alot of thoughs is running thru my mind now.. tinking of everything.. all the way from my sec sch life till now.. although its a fun n enjoying journey all tis while.. n i rly learn alot during tis period of time.. i learn how to c ppl.. i learn to control my anger.. rly alot.. i cant spell all out here.. but im rly glad abt it..

tinking of all my past relationships.. tings now n den is almost the same bahx.. its oways veri good in the start.. but as time passes.. tings jus go haywired.. to the extend tat its already hard to mend it le.. no matter how hard we try oso no use.. bcos wats done is already done liaox le.. nth can change it anymore.. i cant rewind back time to avoid those tings.. n in tis chapter of life.. i learn to live life as it is.. no point changing anything.. live to be urself.. not live to wat others wan u to be.. onli u can hav control over urself n not others..

anyway b4 i end tis post.. i wanna say.. im not aiming at hu or saying hu is at fault n hu is not.. its jus how our life is.. admit it n face it.. jus be urself.. be wat u r.. be how u r like.. changing into someone ur love one wans is good.. but tink properly b4 u do it.. how long can u both last.. n will u be able to take it or live wif it if everything has ended.. tats all le bahx.. gonna continue my stoning process n continue my tinking liaox le.. gones..

cal mi asap

2007-09-25T22:39:00.000+08:00

haix.. from jus now till now.. i still got no replies from her at all.. im seriously worried abt u.. tinking back when u reach hm cal mi.. i still dunno wat happen.. does it mean to be a farewell cal izzit.. haix.. bi.. pls give mi a cal once u c tis or my sms k.. no matter wat time it is.. jus give mi a cal hao mahx.. n pls pls cal.. wo zhen de shi dang xin si le..

veri worried

2007-09-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

feel veri worried abt bi now.. dunno wat happen to her.. after she got hm she jiu nv reply my sms or cals le.. n her fone is off.. msn nv online oso.. n i dun even noe a single ting abt tis.. haix.. im like so useless can.. not even noe-ing wat my gf is tinking n all..

jus read her blog n found out tis.. bi said she was feeling veri down after seeing tat sms.. izzit the sms tat i send u abt? or is it something else? y izzit tat i oways dunno wat n how u r feeling? i rly wish to noe.. n u r rly making mi rly worried now.. even its cos of my sms.. u shld noe tat wo shi chui ying xin luan de mahx.. i say say le jiu over liaox le.. haix..

u said u wanna be left alone now.. but how would i be able to do so.. i jus cant bring myself to leave u alone n dun care abt u.. n how long will u be away? going to where? at least let mi noe tis so tat i wont be tat worried mahx.. hao bu hao mahx? im seriously veri worried now n i hope u can cal mi back asap when u c tis or at least reply my sms telling mi hao mahx.. pls reply wo asap.. n abt tml de ting.. will we still be miting mahx?

hope u can sort out ur thoughts fast bahx.. u cant jus lidat leave mi alone here n u go off lidat dui mahx.. so faster reply mi k.. if not i wont be able to rest well de.. n tml i will be working.. u wont wan mi to be worried n still tinking of u when im working rite.. so bi pls.. pls faster reply mi..

im totally disappointed

2007-09-25T01:06:00.000+08:00

im so so so pissed off now.. like wat the hell can.. here im trying to care.. dun wan u to feel pain.. ask u to go eat medicine.. but u oso at there like dun care lidat.. so is tis i nv care for u or is i care but u jus cant see to be bothered at all.. wats the use of mi showing u care when u dun even seem to be interested..

im happy tat u said u r willing to change for mi.. n u rly did for the past few days.. but wat happen again.. tis few days u r back to the same liaox le.. say u abit jiu not happy n kup my cal.. not like wat im saying u is wrong or wat mahx.. u say u tu zi tong.. am i wrong to ask u to go eat medicine?? scare u will be hungry.. am i wrong to ask u dun be lazy to go buy food.. rite.. today i eat maggi for the whole day.. cos i got no key to go out at all.. n at hm got nth for mi to eat liaox le.. den wat do u expect.. mi to jump down from the window n buy food?? i admit..i ask u not to use my words to say mi back.. but its truth wat.. u oways use wat i say to say mi back.. sometime i nv do the tings tat i wan u to do oso got reason de wat..

i let u hav ur freedom like wat u wan.. u can noe new frens.. can sms wif them.. can exchange num wif other guy.. u can play game.. i got say anything now anot.. i nv.. but after i dun care n let u be.. u tis few days keep play till so late den wanna cal.. tis is y i dun like playing games.. cos everytime u play game oso will play till lidat.. u can even forget everything n nv c time.. u urself said u wanna hav talks in the past.. but if lidat how to.. tis few days say u abit jiu not happy n kup my cal.. was jus saying tat n r good n u hav change.. n u said u dun wanna disappoint mi anymore.. den wat is tis.. isnt tis disappointing..

u tink tis is veri fun mehx.. i like to everyday lidat mehx.. here im trying to care for u.. loving u no matter wat happens..n tis is the way u treat mi?? im wondering if im ur bf or am i ur chu qi tong sia.. u noe im starting work next week le.. den again i jiu wont hav much time to spend wif u.. n now u r still lidat.. den wat.. after i start work u r going to use the same excuse tat i din accompany u enuf thus causing u to feel lonely feel bored feel leftout n go back to the same ways again izzit.. i hav oway trust wat u said n everything.. believe in everything tat u tell mi u will do.. but end up im oways getting disappointments..

watever lahx.. from now on.. im not gonna say again le.. whether u wanna talk or sms everyday anot.. anyway u said u will oso end up nv de.. so im use to it le.. whether u still wan my care for u anot.. its up to u.. i wont be everyday bugging u asking if we will be talking anot anymore.. i dun wanna be seem so desperate.. as for the sms.. it will oso be the same.. if u wanna talk or sms.. den u cal mi or sms mi.. if not den nvm.. its time u take the intiative already.. cos i say so much oso no use.. u wont listen to mi anymore.. not like last time u will listen to be.. as for now.. im gonna cal u one last time.. pick up anot its up to u.. tats all..

game day

2007-09-24T23:38:00.000+08:00

actually was quite b broing day lahx.. cos i was at my aunty hse all alone.. den got nth to do.. hmmm.. but still okie bahx.. still can play game.. hahas.. woke up ard 11+ lidat.. den chatted awhile den jiu went to play rush for berlin le.. play till abt 2+ lidat.. den rest awhile..

continue watching show till abt 5+.. den maple for awhile.. up a lvl again today.. heex.. den kinda bored liaox le.. so jiu stop n continue wif my rush for berlin.. nice game lahx.. hahas.. den jiu all the way played till abt 9+ lidat den i left n went back hm..

reach hm ard 10 lidat.. den dunno wat to do liaox le.. cos lappy cant play game oso.. sianx.. sms bi n ask her wat time she will be calling n ask her to early abit.. but she onli say she will try onli.. dunno wat to say.. nvm.. but anyway.. i hope u dun play game play game n forget abt everything again.. from now to the end of the mth onli left wif tis week nia.. den i jiu go work le.. if u still wanna spend most of ur everyday time playing game de hua den suit u bahx.. wat i got to say oso say liaox le.. i aint going to repeat my words again.. u tink abt it urself..

a better day

2007-09-24T02:18:00.000+08:00

continue from last note de post bahx.. watch my show till abt 2+ i tink.. den after tat blog liaox le den jiu oso went to slp liaox le.. cos was kinda tired le.. n oso abit no mood to watch anymore liaox le..

so yea.. had a good nite slp till tis afternoon 11+ lidat den wake up.. after woke up was feeling so hungry.. cos the nite b4 i din eat mahx.. so jiu faster wash up n went down to buy food le lohx.. continue watch my zhong ji yi jia went i got back.. n yea.. i finally finish watching liaox le.. hahas.. finishing watching 33 episodes in 2 days.. hahas.. watch like siao lidat.. den now got to wait for them to upload daily le.. but nvm.. meanwhile i can watch other shows oso mahx.. still got lots of show waiting for mi to show.. hehe..

went to my aunty hse ard 3+ lidat.. where im currently still at now.. kinda dun feel like going back hm today oso.. dunno y so tats y i stay.. played maple for awhile but forget to pot myself den die den jiu dun feel like playing liaox le.. stop n went for dinner.. den after tat continue wif rush for berlin.. lols.. i finally pass the stage n i hav fail to pass the other time le.. heex.. till abt awhile ago i jus stop cos my kor wanna play game oso.. hahas..

so nth to do.. den i jiu jus come n update a bit bit of my blog lohx.. heex.. cos got nth to do oso le mahx.. i i gus im going to slp soon oso le bahx.. kinda tired liaox le.. but i still dun feel like slping yet lehx.. >< rwarr.. let mi slp man.. n oh ya.. bi de com de internet connection got some problem.. dunno wat happen.. waiting for her to tell mi again tml den i go n c how bahx.. so i muz slp.. if not im gonna be damn tired tml lohx.. slp slp slp..

counting sheeps in progress.. hahas.. cya all..

wat a boring day i had again

2007-09-23T02:02:00.000+08:00

was hoping tat bi will still be coming.. so i jiu morning 10+ jiu wake up le.. faster go wash up n prep the food.. cook n everything by 11+ going to 12.. den ard going to 12 le recieve a sms from her saying she wont be coming le.. den i jiu totally sian half liaox.. cook so many food.. but end up no one is hm to eat.. haix..

started eating lunch at ard 1 lidat.. there was fried chicken wings.. ruo gu tang.. n fried rice.. but its jus mi n myself there eating alone nia.. no one is ard.. jus alone eating so many food.. feeling so lonely so shang xin.. but wat to do.. cant be she dun wanna come den i say no u die die oso muz come n eat rite.. so i jiu slowly sit there eating by myself.. jus keep eat n eat n eat.. n i got tis feeling of not cooking anymore.. kinda dun feel like cooking ever again le.. haix.. dunno wat to say..

canot finish all the food by myself.. so the leftovers i jiu jus pack up n throw them away.. anyway oso no one eating liaox le.. so yea.. save le oso no use.. i wont be eating le.. i wont wanna eat all by myself anymore le.. haix.. y izzit tat other ppl can hav their mummy n daddy there to care for them n i dun hav.. y izzit tat others can hav their own siblings staying tgt wif them n i cant.. y y y.. i jiu shi dun understand.. got jia ren like dun hav oso.. no much diff at all.. jus oways mi in my small little corner.. haix..

continue to watch my show after lunch.. ytd nite watch till episode 15 le.. n today continue n watch till episode 29 liaox le.. jus a few more episode n i will hav to wait for them to be uploaded day by day le.. gus by den i jiu will start to watch other show oso le bahx.. cos i will jus be at hm.. being bored.. n its the onli ting i can do..

am feeling damn hungry now.. but aint got anything left for mi to eat liaox le.. din had my dinner too.. dunno y jus dun feel like eating jus now.. n like i say liaox le.. i dun wanna be there eating alone.. so yea..i finally did wat i said liaox le.. but i dun feel happy oso.. kinda abit dun understand myself again liaox le..

had a little talk wif bi jus now.. den she jiu go slp liaox le.. n i continue back wif my show.. jus stop onli.. dun feel like watching liaox le.. n im kinda tired oso le.. watch for the whole day liaox le.. tink tml den i continue bahx.. oh ya.. zhong ji yi jia rly is damn funny lahx.. make mi laugh there like a siao lang lidat.. hahas.. but some part of it oso quite touching lahx.. hahas.. so gus tats all for today again.. be back again tml?? dunno.. c how bahx..

everything seem to be my fault again

2007-09-22T03:30:00.000+08:00

din hav a good day today.. kinda pissed myself off again today..

woke up early in the morning.. den got to bring them to c doc for dunno wat fucking checkup.. wasted my transport money for all tis fuck shit.. n den wat.. got hm n got nth to eat.. gotta use my own money to buy food for myself.. okie.. tis nvm.. wait for him to come back.. but come hm onli jiu give mi a cb face like i owe him lidat.. wtf is wif tis world..

watch show for the whole day.. din do anything much to disturb anyone.. cos i dun wanna disturb anyone oso.. ending mi being alone watching show all alone by myself.. im doing tis cos of wat.. im trying to give u more freedom to do ur own ting.. but end up wat did i get.. i get nth from it oso wat.. all i wan is u to feel relax n be happy.. its okie tat im alone doing nth facing the 4 walls.. when u r at hm.. at else sometimes ur bro will be hm.. or when ur mama n papa come back le.. u still can talk to them.. but i hav got nth.. although there is someone at hm.. but no one is talking to mi.. i feel so lonely u noe.. its like im invisiable to them.. so u noe how i feel mahx.. i gus u wont noe oso..

tried to hav fone cals.. cos by talking to u.. u can make mi feel better.. feel tat at least there is still someone there to care for mi to listen to mi.. but i dunno y u jus cant seem to talk much wif mi oso.. i seem irritating n veri fan rite.. abt the ting jus now.. ya.. i admit i did say ur timing siao siao nowadays.. cos last time when we mit or wat when u say wat time jiu shi wat time one.. but now most of the time u will be late.. den oways got tis reason tat reason.. last time oso nv hear u keep lidat say.. n all i say was jus to tell u not to be late.. u say i keep repeat.. but when i ask if u understand wat im saying anot.. its u ownself say u dun understand den i repeat de lehx.. den now my fault again izzit.. i din ask to u reach at a certain time like wat u said in ur blog lohx..

den u say wat.. u rather be hm cos ur mummy is at hm n u dun nd to worry abt ur lunch.. so wat r u trying to say here.. trying to say tat i hav ill-treated u?? or coming out wif mi u will nd to worry tat u got nth to eat?? hav i ever not let u eat ur lunch anot.. pls lohx.. im oways there reminding u to hav ur lunch.. bring u for lunch.. cook food for ur lunch so tat when u come over u can eat.. afraid tat u nv eat n will be hungry.. scare u nv eat u will hav gastric.. but y do i care so much.. cos u r my gf.. im worried for u n i care for u.. if not y would i wanna do so.. u tink if any other person i will so free cook for them to eat mehx??

u say u were oways trying to make ppl feel happy but in the end putting all the worries n blames to urself.. haven been i doing the same.. trying my best to make u happy.. giving in to u as much as i can.. but i noe i cant oways give in to u.. cos i will end up spoiling u.. jus like in the past.. i oways give in to watever u do or say.. tats y now u will lidat.. din we jus agree tat we will adapt to each other during tis time?? so wat do u mean by i shouldnt try to accomodate myself for others anymore.. i shall make myself be happy n do wad i really wan.. r u backing out from wat u say??

ytd i jus said.. u r good u hav change.. u dun kup cals anymore.. but today u did it again.. so u wan to disappoint mi over n over again izzit?? i jus praise u n now u r lidat le.. wat do u wan mi to do den?? from wat u say in ur blog its like u r saying its totally all my fault.. u dun hav any wrong.. so gus wat.. its my fault again lahx?? huh?? izzit wat u r trying to mean?? i hate quarrels wif u do u noe tat.. recently u hav been using ur feelings to control wat u do.. n we said n plan where to go tml le.. i even got my tings prepare to make u something to eat tml.. n now u r telling mi u dun feel like coming out?? wat has got into tis world.. y is everyone treating mi like as though i owe them a living.. y muz i be treated tis way.. i gus i shld not hav give up wat i said i would do last week.. is tat the way u ppl rly wan mi to go den u all will be happy izzit?? if its so den let mi noe.. i can fulfil all ur dreams n i promise u all wont ever c mi again.. den there will be no one left to hurt u n quarrel or argue wif u anymore.. is tat wat u all wan??

i noe u will sure come n read my blog for updates.. when u get to c tis.. pls give mi a cal.. n tell mi wat u plan to do tml.. if not.. i will jus be blindly waiting for u to come tml..

happy 10th mths

2007-09-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

lalala.. jus got hm from celebrating our 10th mths anniversary.. enjoy our day out today.. although its jus some simple celebration.. but i tink we still like it alot..

recieve bi de sms ard 1030 tis morning.. actually wake up liaox le.. but i continue nua on bed.. den end up fall back aslp till abt 1210 den i wake up.. haha.. tired bahx i tink.. lol.. lucky we were miting at 1.. n the place is quite near my place.. so i jiu faster bathe n change den jiu leave hm liaox le.. haha.. got there jus in time.. haha..

den veri funny lahx.. i was standing there so obvious but bi jiu shi cant c mi.. keep at there find mi sia.. haha.. cute sia.. lol.. den made our way to ms.. bought tickets for the invasion.. follow on we jiu went to swensens to hav our lunch.. n we eat slowly today.. spend almost 1hr+ sitting in there eating.. was chatting away oso..

after lunch den we went over to suntec there to buy some tibits for the movie n walk ard for awhile.. den jiu off for the show le.. its a nice show sia.. some parts of it was kinda disgusting oso.. but overall i still give it 8/10.. haha.. after show walk ard for awhile.. sit n slack for awhile.. kenneth cal n say he was at bugis.. so we jiu head over to bugis to mit him lohx.. bugis kinda change quite alot lahx.. or maybe shld i say cos i too long nv go liaox le.. haha..

went in to pet lover there to c hamster.. n suddenly got the feeling to buy them.. haha.. gus goona save some money n buy some hm bahx.. heex.. walk ard bugis for awhile den went to the new food court at lvl3 to hav dinner.. but onli mi n kenneth eat nia.. cos bi going back hm to eat.. so yea.. after dinner slowly made our way to sim lim den took 23 back to tamp.. walk bi back hm from tp de busstop.. kenneth followed mi to.. walk bi up to her doorstep today..

den jiu took bus to interchange n train hm liaox le.. but today de train ppl all look kinda funny lahx.. all like so quiet jus like the show lidat de.. hahas.. faster walk hm n bathe den now blogging lohx.. had a great day today.. hope bi oso.. heex.. today is our 10th mths.. n i believe we will hav many mths more de.. am i rite bi?? <33

now gonna finish my post n wait for bi to cal mi talk le.. heex.. so yea..gonna end here liaox le.. gones.. im deeply in love..

boring day + 10th mths

2007-09-20T01:03:00.000+08:00

bored bored bored bored.. wat a boring day i had today.. jus kinda not use to tis type of life everyday got to stay at hm.. i will get bored to death man.. ahhhh.. buay tahan..

woke up ard 11+ tis morning.. den after tat wash up ate lunch n watch my show.. finish my zhong ji yi ban liaox le.. so yea.. gonna continue watch zhong ji yi jia.. already started liaox le.. but kinda dun understand lahx.. cos its like abit no link at all.. den blur so ask baby n lead to some arguement.. nvm.. dun wanna talk abt it liaox le.. den continue watch till abt 5.. den i jiu go bathe n prep go out le..

mit ah ger jonathan n roy at ps.. say mit at 6 de.. but when i reach there at 6.. all of them were jus on their ways down nia.. kinda pissed off lahx.. cos those hu noe mi shld noe.. i dun like waiting for ppl de.. im those shao ye type u noe.. im not use to be waiting for ppl lahx.. if wait for awhile still okie bahx.. but not too long lahx.. nvm..

den went to watch underdog wif them.. its a nice show n its kinda funny oso lahx.. haha.. although i did fall aslp in the start.. cos im kinda no mood.. i dunno y oso.. mood swing?? haha.. but i still wake up at the nice part.. den after show follow them to the arcade n they played mt.. keep say last game den keep continue playing one.. den waited till roy went off first..

waited for jeff to come at 1030.. den head over to selegie to eat tou hua.. den after tat send ah ger hm.. den follow by mi den jonathan bahx.. alight at my hse there.. den while walking to my blk i got stop by the police.. wah kao.. so suay can.. fuck them sia.. wasted 15mins of my time wif them.. idiots lahx.. dun like being screen..

reach hm check my singpass ting n waited for bi to cal mi.. den was busy doing the stupid singpass de ting.. so troublesome lahx.. nd to key in so many ting de.. after finish doing everyting.. den jiu continue talk on fone.. tml is our 10th mth liaox le.. discuss abt wat time to mit n all.. den after tat talk awhile more jiu hang up le.. cos bi say she is tired liaox.. so i jiu let her go slp lohx.. although im kinda upset lahx.. cos i rly wanna talk longer.. but nvm bahx.. i rather she go slp den later i talk to her den her replies like wanna die lidat..

so yea.. although i would rly wish to go eat swensen tml lahx.. cos rly is veri long nv eat liaox le.. but yea.. i dun hav the money to go eat such nice food.. so no choice but gotta give up on the idea.. nvm bahx.. n of cos.. happy 10th mth bi.. hope after tis our way will be smooth le k.. no more unhappy quarrels.. no more keeping of tings between each other.. n slowly be back to how we were like in the past.. i noe although im gonna start work soon le.. but still.. i dun wan after i start work den after tat tings go back the same den all the efforts will be gone n wasted liaox le.. after i start work like wat we hav said.. i will still try my best to spend time wif u.. will mit u if i finish my work early.. n every sunday oso mit up to go out.. n alternate weeks we hav dinner together.. so after all tis plannings.. i hope nth will goes wrong again liaox le..

n tis is gonna end my post here le.. got nth much to blog abt le.. so yea..

total new mi

2007-09-19T00:24:00.000+08:00

been away for somedays.. n back from my last post.. but its a all new beginning le.. jus change into a new link.. new start of life.. a brand new mi here.. so im gonna start wif a brand new post.. not gonna talk abt unhappy tings again but for a condition which is there will be no more unhappiness again in mi..

shall start from ytd bahx.. was at hm slping.. till abt 11+ bi cal n wake mi up.. wake up prep n made some small dishes for her to eat.. den after tat waited for her to come n went to mrt to fetch her to my hse.. bought some tibits n drinks back hm to eat.. den reach hm n had lunch together.. after tat slack awhile n after tat i help her rub her hands.. saw so many blue blacks here n there.. was feeling so bad lahx.. but yea.. wats done is done.. no point saying liaox le..

gave bi something to bite on as i cant let her bite mi cos my hands r all stain wif the medication le.. took some time to do tat.. den told her to come again today.. cos 1 time shi bu hui hao de.. n i wan her to faster recover.. after tat slack n watch show till ard 5+ den walk bi to mrt.. din send her back ytd.. cos wanna save abit transport.. hope bi dun mind bahx.. den walk hm n continue watching my show lohx.. till abt 12+ den bi cal mi to talk.. n we talk for quite long today wor.. been long since we had talks like ytd le..

woke up ard 10+ tis morning.. den faster wash up n prep another small dishes for bi to eat after she come over.. bathe n den settle everything den jiu left hm to mit bi at sim lim le.. cos her bro de bday coming n wanna buy someting for him.. suppose to mit at 1 de.. but cos bi woke up late n hav to go bank do someting.. so yea.. den jiu late abit le.. faster went to find the game n update her bro de psp n bought a speaker for him den jiu faster went hm le.. cos we were both hungry liaox le..

reach hm faster had our lunch.. den after tat test the speaker for bi n after tat jiu continue help her rub her hands liaox le.. its seems like got abit better le bahx.. so yea.. but halfway c bi so pain de i jiu bu she de zai rub le.. so let her lie down n get some rest as she say she she not slp well last nite.. slp all the way till 6+ den wake up bahx.. den watch afew show n jiu left liaox le.. went to hav dinner.. but onli bi eat nia.. cos i wasnt feeling hungry n scare later buy le canot finish den wasted.. but i still did eat some tings..

cabbed back to tamp.. keep disturb bi abt the crow de ting.. so funny lahx.. den reaching le jiu wear jacket n went up.. while going up her hse oso keep disturb her.. end up she cal mi crow sia.. boohoo.. smack ni arhx.. haha.. den fix her bro de speaker le den jiu slack awhile den jiu left liaox le.. n im invited to tis sunday de steamboat at her hse sia.. haha.. but im sure gonna get cooked.. lol.. cos i nd to wear jacket n its so hot while eating steamboat.. haha.. but yea.. i will still go bahx..

as for now.. im waiting for bi to cal mi.. but since i reach hm till now i still haven got any replies from her yet..>< but yea.. tink i will jus continue wait bahx.. n while waiting.. im gonna finish my zhong ji yi ban.. haha.. den tml jiu can watch new show liaox le.. woohoo.. bye..

the last post from melvin

2007-09-16T00:50:00.000+08:00

most prob tis will be my last post for now or maybe foreva.. www.meowofakind.blogspot.com shld not exist in tis world anymore.. since everyone wans mi dead.. so be it.. anyway my living here would onli cause more harm to others onli.. i will oways hurt ppl here now n den.. so to prevent tis.. i tink it would be better if im gone from here foreva.. make tis be my last post here.. whether i will still live on or whether i will be dead after tis.. tis post is to thks everyone tat has been here for mi b4 or even now..

1st.. i would wan to thks most will be xinyi.. if she haven been here for mi all tis while.. i gus i wont hav walk till today tis date.. she made such a big impact on my life.. she change mi so much.. from wat i use to be till wat i am now.. i rly thks u alot.. n i appreciate u for all tat.. u were my life my everything.. but i gus its jus mi not treasuring u enuf.. not treating u good enuf.. aint being a bf tats good enuf to be wif u.. thks for showering mi wif all ur love care n concern.. wif out u i wont noe wat will happen to mi now.. thks for oways being there for mi n giving mi all ur support.. although we had alot of unhappy times.. but we too hard lots of happy moments tgt.. im sorry to hav hurt u so much.. rly sorry.. i love u.. n i rly mean i love u.. too much for mi to which i already cant imgine losing u.. but still.. i hav got to go.. whether will i be dead after today anot.. the actually melvin will nv be the same anymore.. but pls promise mi to take good care of urself.. cos maybe i will still be back.. i dunno.. <333

2nd person i would rly hav wish to thks will be jonathan.. thks for giving mi so much help when i nd them.. rly thks alot.. n im sorry for my bad behaviours towards u.. hope u will forgive mi..

3rd is valerie.. its rly wonderful to hav a fren like u.. n ever since u hav so called become my nuer.. zai wo xin zhong wo zui teng de nuer jiu shi ni le.. but gus i wont be able to do so anymore le.. thks for being there for mi too..

n its leong kenneth david n alot more.. i cant possibly name all out.. rly thks u all.. whether its for ur care or watever.. thks for being there even as a fren.. n for hu ever tat i din not mention.. im sorry to miss u all out.. but yea.. still thks alot..

n yea.. although its not rly long.. but tis is still gonna be my last post le.. i got nth much to say anymore.. thks n take care.. zai jian to all..

useless mi

2007-09-16T00:22:00.000+08:00

after i reach hm.. i hav been waiting all the way till now for her cal.. but its jus ended wif afew mins of talk.. haix.. i dunno wat i shld do.. wat am i suppose to do anyway.. can someone pls teach mi or tell mi pls.. i rly cant take it anymore.. im going bonkers soon..

b4 she cal.. read her blog n noe tat she was feeling down.. so i jiu waited for her to cal n ask her.. but jus after she cal n i ask her wat happen.. she seem like avoiding my qns.. den awhile more jiu hang up liaox le.. y.. y is tings tis way.. i rly hate myself alot.. im jus such a useless fool.. jus like some useless idiots..

in her blog she says where is her someone when she nds him the most?? is it mi or is it him.. i dunno.. she doesnt wanna tell mi.. am i still the someone tat she nds the most?? or is it him tat she nds the most now.. if its mi.. im oways here for u mahx.. i hav nv ever leave u for once.. im oways here ready for u.. ready to comfort u n care for u when u nd mi.. but or is it jus mi being zhi zhuo dao qing?? can someone ans my qns.. i gus even god cant ans my qns bahx.. i rly wanna hold on to tis relationship.. i dun wanna give up..

300th days

2007-09-15T21:58:00.000+08:00

jus got back hm.. im still feeling so sucky.. i feel so bad.. after i c wat happen to baby de hand jus now.. it hurts mi so much.. so many parts of her hand r in pain.. some of them still hav blue blacks.. haix..

woke up ard 12+.. but still din got any sms from baby.. so i jiu continue to slp.. till ard 4+ den still got no sms from her.. so i jiu sms her.. n she was waiting for mi to cal her.. den talk awhile n she agreed to come out.. mit her at tamp.. reach ard 635.. but she still haven reach yet.. so i jiu went to cs first..

brought my hp to nokia care for servicing.. cos there is some problem wif the fone liaox le.. den while waiting bi reach.. n there first ting i c her is to look at her hand to c how it is le.. saw so many blue blacks here n there.. n she was feeling pain here n there.. i feel so hurt.. but there isnt anything i can do again le.. cos wats done is done le.. hope she will forgive mi for tat..

talk to her for awhile.. den after tat wanna go eat sakae de.. but cant find the place.. so we jiu end up go eat kfc.. both of us oso had 2 piece chicken.. den after meal went to top up my card den walk ard in tm.. pei bi go c some hp as she said she wanna change fone.. she seem to like k580i.. but she said she could onli dream abt it onli.. cos her mummy wont let her change de..

den after tat walk awhile more jiu walk her to interchange to take bus hm liaox le.. din send her till her hse.. cos i wanna save abit for transport.. hope bi wont mind.. den after tat i jiu train hm liaox le.. gotta save abit for tis few days bahx.. cos i onli start work in oct.. den end of oct den i will get my pay.. so yea.. we will jus hav to bear pass tis 1 n 1/2 mths n everything jiu will be over liaox le.. n after tat.. i oso jiu muz start to save liaox le.. cant anyhow spend liaox le..

so yea.. although today we din do much or it aint nth much.. but i hope bi will still be happy.. n happy 300th days to baby too.. hope we can hav long long ways to go on..

add-ons

2007-09-15T08:02:00.000+08:00

some add ons..

happy belated birthday to jennifer..

happy 20th birthday to leong..

happy 17th birthday to val..

im rly sorry for causing so much unhappiness on ur birthday.. rly sorry everyone..

n to bi.. i dunno if u will come read my blog after u wake up anot.. but i hope u will.. i will be going to slp after i post up tis post.. but i will oso still be waiting for ur reply.. no matter u coming out anot today.. pls jus give mi a reply.. but i rly do hope tat u can come out n we can celebrate our 300th days tgt today.. i will be waiting..

i hate myself alot..

2007-09-15T07:11:00.000+08:00

finally ended a day of sadness n happiness.. everyting was like.. haix.. i oso dunno wat to say liaox le.. n since last nite.. im starting to hate myself..

went out ytd evening.. den was walking to my auntie shop first cos its still early.. den while walking baby called n i din hear my fone ring at all.. so i jiu nv pick up.. den when i saw the miss cal n cal back.. she jiu kup my cals for 2 times.. so i jiu din cal le n waited for her to cal mi back.. thus having an quarrel over the fone..

reach my auntie shop den talk to her awhile abt my work de ting.. den was feeling so pek chek after talking to her abt tat.. i oso dunno wat i shld do now liaox le.. haix.. im so messed up.. so confused.. took train to tamp to mit baby to collect birthday cake for val gal.. den after tat made some final tings on the present n off we went to ecp.. everything was so nice n well till after most of the ppl came..

baby n val went back hm to take chicken wings as val forgot to bring them out.. was kinda dulan wif the rest le oso lahx.. all onli wanna eat but nobody seems to care to cook their own food.. ending up mi being like a servant there cooking for them to eat.. nvm.. den when baby came back.. she jus went ard talking n playing.. its like she nv even hiew mi at all till even the rest oso come ask mi wat happen y she nv come talk to u or wat n jus going ard talking n playing wif ppl ard..

bi.. i noe maybe u may tink there is not a nd for telling mi u come back le.. or maybe u jus cant be bother.. but as ur bf.. im rly concern abt u.. i noe u cal mi n told mi u r reaching soon le.. but all i hope is u can jus come to mi n say bi im back le.. tats all.. but when i ask u.. u jus walks off lidat.. maybe to u it may seem okie bahx.. but to mi its like u r showing mi attitude u noe.. haix.. after tat i tried talking to u nicely but u still din wanna reply mi.. onli when after i started to be a little more fierce den u jiu not happy n wanna go off le..

u noe mi de bi.. i seriously dun like it when here im talking to ppl n there they r ignoring mi.. n plus.. i oso dun like it when im talking to them den they jiu lidat wanna walk off.. tats y i will pull u back.. i din mean to do it de.. haix.. from the start all i wan was a nice talk to u.. i din wan tings to turn out tis way de.. i dun wanna hurt u.. hurting u make mi feel so heartache.. although i dun show it out.. but u shld noe im in pain from the inside.. not the outside..

how i rly wish we could jus talk like last time when i ask u tings u will ans mi back n not like now when i ask u tings u will jus keep quiet n ignore mi.. how i rly hope tings will be like in the past.. how i rly hope.. but tings jus aint like the past anymore.. i muz fa pi qi le den u will wanna talk.. n after awhile den ni jiu bu gao xin liaox le.. y muz ting be in tis way..

i noe its my fault my bad to grab u in tat manner.. i noe i hurt u alot by doing so.. but i jus wan u to hav a sit n talk to mi properly den jiu nth will happen le.. i noe wat i say now oso no use le.. cos wats done is done.. but there is nth else i can do other den saying sorry for now.. i wanted to help ni c ur hand.. but u dun wan to let mi.. gus u muz be rly mad at mi.. today is our 300th days.. i rly wans to bring u out for a meal.. or if u dun wan at least come out to hav a walk to relax ourself from all tis tings tat r happening now.. but i gus from the sms u told mi jus now.. i tink the chances tat u r coming out today r rly slim le.. u say u r not angry wif mi.. but i noe in ur heart u muz be veri angry wif mi for doing tis n hurting u so much..

im rly sorry to hav done tat to u ytd nite.. being a guy.. i shld not hav done tat.. moreover the strength tat i use.. i noe it rly hurts u alot.. im sorry.. i feel rly so bad to noe ur hands r swollen.. but there is nth i can do now.. u wont let mi touch u oso.. i rly wanna c hows ur hand liaox le.. im seriously sorry.. n i rly hate myself alot for doing tis to u.. i hate myself for all those quarrels we had tis few days.. i hate myself so much.. tat i feels like hitting myself liaox le.. but i din.. i controlled myself.. i noe u wont wan mi to hurt myself.. but i jus feel so suck..

like wat u said b4.. i tink i rly aint a good bf.. i nv spend enuf time wif u.. i din treat u good enuf.. i din give u tings tat u wan.. i cant bring u for good foods tat u like to eat.. im oways hurting u.. i suck to core.. thus causing u to change urself to wat u r now.. choosing to find urself another partner to chat wif sms wif n care for u.. sometimes i rly wonder if i do still mean a ting to u anot.. am i still the one hu u love anot.. do u still care for mi mahx.. i dunno..

but nvm bahx.. dun wan talk abt it liaox le.. but i thks u for giving us both another chance to start all over again.. n i rly wish we can rly start all over again.. jus like how we were in the beginning.. so loving so caring for each other..n i promise u nth like last nite will ever happen again.. if not i will kill myself.. but i jus no matter wat i do now.. i noe its impossible to erase yangxin away from ur heart oso liaox le bahx.. im sure he has oso stand a part in ur heart liaox le.. so wat shld i do.. how shld i do.. im confused.. im jus a useless asshole.. im jus not suppose to in tis world at all.. i will onli cause ppl sadness n unhappiness..

boring start for a day

2007-09-14T14:52:00.000+08:00

lalalala.. im bored im bored.. so sianx sia.. got nth to do at hm at all.. jus lappy nia.. no tv show to watch oso de.. boohoo.. wake up so early oso no use.. but cant slp too long oso lahx.. later body ache sia.. old liaox le lahx.. haha..

hav been blasting my roof off wif my songs.. haha.. trance n techno n rnb songs.. lols.. so shiok sia.. veri long nv lidat blast liaox le sia.. woots.. gus now im gonna slack awhile more den after tat jiu go bathe n prep le den cai go tamp mit bi bahx.. den after tat going to collect someting le den we go down to the bbq lohx.. haha.. muz save some food for mi to eat wor..

n today is val gal de bday.. zhang da le hor.. dun so playful liaox le.. haha.. n hope u will enjoy urself today bahx.. although its not a veri big event lahx.. heex.. n lastly.. happy bday again gal..

not a veri good day afterall

2007-09-13T23:05:00.000+08:00

back to blog blog again.. i dunno lahx.. but i like dun wan blog oso liaox le.. maybe tis shall be my last post le bahx.. i dunno.. c how den..

as said like ytd nite.. was feeling down.. went to slp ard 2+ i tink.. den tis morning woke up ard 11+ lidat.. was still kinda feeling down when i woke up tis morning.. so i din wanna talk much.. all the way till i mit her le im still lidat.. den after miting her i feel kinda even worse.. i oways tot after miting her.. maybe i will be able to feel better.. but im not anymore.. cos she doesnt rly seem to care oso le.. no qns ask on y im lidat oso.. nth..

den went to buy tickets for 1408.. after tat went to find food to eat.. cos we all haven eat our lunch yet.. i wanna try to talk de.. but she was like busy sms-ing.. walk n sms n walk n sms.. so i jiu din talk much.. jus kept quiet.. den after lunch went to walk ard to buy some ting.. den after tat jiu went up to watch movie le.. okie lahx.. the show was still okie.. not as bad as wat my kor hav said.. n tings start to change after the show.. tats wat i hate the most..

ask her if can go my hse check someting anot.. den she jiu at there joke joke.. im seriously asking.. although i might sound joking.. but im serious.. u were rite.. in the cinema u did say dun wan.. but when i ask again cant u jus it again.. i wont be angry at all.. im not like wat u tink so xiao qi.. cos of tis i will be angry or wat.. but she doesnt seem to understand n tis leads to someting else..

i dun wanna say wat happen.. but its isnt nice at all.. n i almost blow to my top.. but i keep controlling myself.. after some time i cool down n talk tings slowly to her.. saying all the ting she has said to mi.. all the tings she said she would do but she din.. everything was finally out today.. but as usual she is jus there i dunno i rly dunno.. haix.. im wondering after all i hav said did she rly listen n tske it in her heart mahx..

after some time tings seem okie n we made our way to selegie for dinner.. eat chicken rice.. den after tat slowly walk to take 23 back to tamp.. alight at interchange den i slowly walk her back hm.. send her up to her hse n there i go.. off back to hm again.. was feeling kinda emo again after we part.. i dunno y.. so dun bother ask mi..

sms along the way hm.. den reach hm msn her.. talk to her abt it for awhile.. but she seems quite irritated by it.. nvm its okie..

bi.. i noe u will be reading tis.. jus to let u noe.. tat will be my last time saying all tis tings to u anymore.. whether u listen n take it into consideration anot its up to u.. tis relationship now is all totally on u le..whether u r willing to change anot jiu can show mi how much u rly love mi le.. i dun hav to say much if u r rly willing to change jus for the sake of mi.. all im wondering now is.. y muz it change.. y muz u change.. y cant tings remain as it is for tis past 4mths.. wats wrong wif tis relationship.. hav i not put in enuf effort.. hav i not treat u good enuf.. was i bad to u all tis while.. wat cause u to change so dramatically.. i serious dunno but i rly wish to noe.. but all u can tell mi is u dunno.. maybe u rly dunno bahx.. u said u will try but u dunno if u can do it mahx.. means u cant be sure u can change back rite.. i dunno.. all i ask for now is ur understanding onli.. i will be veri happy if u r able to be back wat u r like in the past.. but even if u cant fully change back.. i do hope u hav rly tried ur veri best n show it to mi jiu ke yi le.. if i can change from wat im in the past to wat im now jus for u y cant u change back to wat u r jus for mi.. i dunno n i dun wanna ask anymore.. n i hope wat u told mi tis time isnt jus for the sake of saying onli.. show mi by action.. tats all i got to say liaox le.. change or not it all up to u to decide.. n as i said.. tis will be the last time im saying tis to u le.. so u ownself go tink abt wat i hav said tis whole day le bahx..

im rly loving the song lei by mi lu bing le.. it kinda saying how wat im feeling now bahx.. i gus so..

Lei By Mi Lu Bing

2007-09-13T01:39:00.000+08:00

tis is a nice song wif good lyrics.. interested go n find n listen..

shen ye li wu fa xi guan mei you ni
bu yuan yi zai zuo xia qu
zhe ju li tong de wo bu neng hu xi
nan wang ji ni de shi qu

duo shao yan lei duo wu shuo wei wo pi shang yan jing wo bu neng ru shui
zhi xi wang ni gei wo yi xie an wei

zhe xie yan lei wo wu shuo wei
zhen xin de dui dai zui zhen gui
wo hui tou xiang qi ai qing de tian mei
yong yuan bu hou hui

shen ye li wu fa xi guan mei you ni
bu yuan yi zai zuo xia qu
zhe ju li tong de wo bu neng hu xi
nan wang ji ni de shi qu

duo shao yan lei duo wu shuo wei
wo pi shang yan jing wo bu neng ru shui
zhi xi wang ni gei wo yi xie an wei

zhe xie yan lei wo wu shuo wei
zhen xin de dui dai zui zhen gui
wo hui tou xiang qi ai qing de tian mei
yong yuan bu hou hui

qian li wo jing ru shui mong chui shui
chong wen guo qu wo men liang mong zhong xiang yi wei
xian shi mong huan yuan chen chui

shen ye li wu fa xi guan mei you ni
bu yuan yi zai zuo xia qu
zhe ju li tong de wo bu neng hu xi
nan wang ji ni de shi qu

duo shao yan lei duo wu shuo wei
wo pi shang yan jing wo bu neng ru shui
zhi xi wang ni gei wo yi xie an wei

zhe xie yan lei wo wu shuo wei
zhen xin de dui dai zui zhen gui
wo hui tou xiang qi ai qing de tian mei
yong yuan bu hou hui

hope it aint wrong.. cos im not good in chinese.. n follow on is the chinese lyrics..

深夜里无法习惯没有你
不愿意再走下去
这距离痛得我不能呼吸
难忘记你的失去

多少眼泪都无所谓
我闭上眼睛不能入睡
只希望你给我一些安慰

这些眼泪我无所谓
真心的对待最珍贵
我回头想起爱情的甜美
永远不后悔

深夜里无法习惯没有你
不愿意再走下去
这距离痛得我不能呼吸
难忘记你的失去

多少眼泪都无所谓
我闭上眼睛不能入睡
只希望你给我一些安慰

这些眼泪我无所谓
真心的对待最珍贵
我回头想起爱情的甜美
永远不后悔

牵领我进入睡梦追随
重温过去我们俩梦中相依偎
虽是梦幻愿沉醉

深夜里无法习惯没有你
不愿意再走下去
这距离痛得我不能呼吸
难忘记你的失去

多少眼泪都无所谓
我闭上眼睛不能入睡
只希望你给我一些安慰

这些眼泪我无所谓
真心的对待最珍贵
我回头想起爱情的甜美
永远不后悔

hope u all like it..

emo emo emo

2007-09-12T21:24:00.000+08:00

back here to crap again.. since i hav got nth better to do.. n no one is chatting wif mi at all.. suits them bahx.. if no one wans to chat if we its okie wif mi.. i can jus live my life like how im b4.. everyday jus work go hm slp den next day work.. i can say tat wif out or anyone i can still live on..

din do anything for the whole day.. jus slack at hm.. no one to chat.. nth to do.. no where to go oso.. tats my life.. i admit it le.. its jus like in the past.. jus mi n the com.. tis is my life.. maybe its meant to be lidat for mi bahx.. n today wasnt a good day for mi either.. found out den i kana put aeroplane by ppl.. was so dulan den.. if tis bbq wasnt for val de bday.. i would hav cancel everything le.. all those idiots.. let not talk abt them le..

jus now called val for to discuss abt tml how.. den she said tat she wanna order.. so okie lohx.. each of us come out wif 150 for the food.. den still got the drink oso.. omg.. den talk talk talk jiu talk abt something else.. shld not say it here.. i noe n understand jiu can le.. maybe wat she says is rite bahx.. further more she is a cal.. maybe she can understand better den mi bahx.. rly hope it will be like wat she say..

n tis ends my post for the day.. i dunno if tings will still goes well for mi anot.. but yea.. i will still try my best for everything.. n thks gal for ur opinion n hearing mi crap so much.. happy bday in advance.. :)

tagged by bibi

2007-09-12T15:50:00.000+08:00

jus woke up from slp awhile ago.. n found out tat i got tag by bibi when im aslp last nite.. eeyer.. lol.. so gus now im gonna tag back bahx.. heex..

List out your top 5 birthday presents u wish for?:
#1- To hav my mummy celebrating for mi.. ><
#2- Able to be wif bibi foreva..
#3- Oways be love by bibi..
#4- Frens to be happy oways..
#5- Its will onli be made noe in a few more yrs time..

1. The person who tagged u is?:
- Xinyi my laopo..

2. Your relationship with her is?:
- My precious gf.. Haha..

3. Your 5 impressions of her?:
- Cute.. Kawaii nehx.. xD
- Veri tao qi.. Haha..
- Game freak.. ;x
- Like to look strong..
- Liked by alot others..

4. The most memorable thing she has done for you?:
- Cried the hell out of her when i got into an accident last yr.. Sorry abt tat.. Will take good care of myself le.. Wont let tat happen again..

5. The most memorable words he has said to you?:
- Hmmm.. There is alot of them.. But its for mi to noe jiu hao le..

6. If she becomes your lover, you will?:
- She has already become my lover.. & i will treasure & cherish all the moments we had tgt..

7. If she's your lover, what she has to improve on?:
- Hmmm.. Concentrate more on studies.. Play lesser game to pei wo more often.. Treat mi more like a prince to u.. Dun everytime bully mi.. & dun ever take mi for granted.. heex.. But i noe u hav played lesser games le.. So yea.. :)

8. If she becomes your enemy, you will?:
- I will try my best to save ting so tat we wont become enemy.. But if rly still cant.. Den i will curse tat asiasoft dao pi.. Blogger dao.. Msn oso dao.. Friendster oso dao.. So tat she cant plays her game & surf net anymore.. ;x Im so mean.. Jus kidding..

9. If she becomes your enemy, the reason is?:
- Dunno.. Maybe she cant play her game & surf net anymore? haha.. ;x

10. The most desired thing you would like to do for her now is?:
- Keep her accompany n spend more time wif her while i still can.. Cheer her up when she is sad or unhappy.. Oways be ready by her side whenever she nds mi..

11. Your overall impression of her?:
- Quite difficult to understand at times.. but overall she is still okie..

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you?:
- Feel tat im a piakia lohx.. alot of ppl tinks of mi tis way.. >< & some tinks tat im those happy goes lucky type.. For the rest i jiu dunno le.. Shld go ask ard next time..

13. The character you love about yourself is?:
- Likes to settle tings myself.. Dun rly like to tell others my problem..

14. On the contrary, what character you hate about yourself?:
- I dunno how to express my feelings for the one i loved..

15. The most ideal person I would like to be?:
- The Melvin which bibi likes & loves the most..

16. For the people who cared & liked you say something to them?:
- Thks for everything.. I rly appreciate it..

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that u wish to know how they feel about u.. Hey, please do k? Its quite fun though its long.. Thanks (:
*1: Qing Feng
*2: Aik Yew
*3. Xinyi
*4. Valeire
*5. Irene
*6. Leong
*7. Huihui
*8. Zip
*9. Ryan
*10. Netti

Who's #2 having relationship with?:
- No one.. Cos he is single.. Haha..

Is #9 a female/male?:
- Male..

If #1 & #10 be together, will it be a good thing?:
- Lol.. They dun even noe each other.. How to be tgt.. Haha..

#2 studying about?:
- SIM..

When was the last time you chatted with #3?:
- A few mins ago.. Heex.. <33

What kind of music does #8 like?:
- Mt2 Songs.. Haha..

Does #6 has any siblings?:
- Yea.

Will u woo # 3?:
- I still nd to woo u mehx , my precious laopo.. Haha..

How about #7?:
- She arhx.. Jus like a piggy.. Oways slp so much but keep complain she is tired & wanna slp
somemore.. Haha.. ;x

Is #4 single?:
- Yup.. Tink so.. Haha..

Surname of #5?:
- Ang kong kong.. Lols.. Better not let her c tis.. Haha..

What's the hobby of #5?:
- Use to go clubbing.. But now got baby le.. So u better stay at hm to look after ur baby.. Dun like last time keep wif us anyhow luan luan pao again..

#3 studying at?:
- TP.. BZE.. Heex..

Have you tried developing feelings for #8?:
-Siao.. #8 is a guy hao mahx.. Im straight.. Dun go for tis type de.. Haha..

Where does #9 live?:
- Lols.. I noe.. In hougang.. Haha..

What colour does #4 like?:
- Pink.. Cos she took my pink lighter.. ;x Haha..

Are #1 and #3 best friends?:
- Lols.. They are fren.. But they seem to oways disturb each other.. Haha..

Does #7 like #2?:
- Nope.. They dun even noe each other.. How to like.. Haha..

How do you know #2?:
- My camp-mate.. He is kinda funny.. Lols..

Does #5 have a pet?:
- Lols.. Dun hav in the past.. But not sure for now.. its been long since i last seen her.. & its even longer since i last went up her hse.. haha..

wah.. seh sia.. so many qns de.. finally do finish liaox le.. phew.. now gonna rest awhile le.. haha..

ORD LOHX!!!

2007-09-12T00:05:00.001+08:00

lalalala.. back for updates again le.. haha..wanna blog early de.. but was chatting.. haha.. so waited till now den blog.. lol.. continue from my last post..

was all the ytd at my auntie hse for the whole.. n i play game all the way sia.. maple n rush for berlin.. its all nice games.. haha.. den waited till my bro come back den i awhile more i jiu left liaox le.. reach hm ard 1030 lidat bahx if im not wrong.. heex.. den reach hm le jiu cal baby n talk awhile.. she seems tired so jiu din talk much den went to slp quite early..

back to com den was chatting to ay n qf.. haha.. chat for quite long.. cos we oso veri long nv chat n c each other le.. rly miss u guy n kranji alot sia.. haha.. den after tat ard 1+ jiu go slp liaox le.. tis morning bibi cal mi to wake mi up.. but piggy mi nua on bed till abt 8 den wake up go bathe n prep.. haha.. den after tat ard 9 jiu left hm liaox le..

was on my way back to camp for the last time to collect my ic.. cos u noe lahx.. ORD LOHX!!! haha.. its been so long since i waited for liaox le sia.. now finally tis day reach liaox le.. haha.. so happy sia.. den settle everything n get my ic n cos den jiu go off liaox le.. din wanna stay any longer.. lol.. went to tamp to mit bibi for lunch.. den after tat walk walk ard for awhile n she jiu went back hm liaox le.. today jus pei her wait for bus nia.. haha.. cos ezlink wan no money liaox le.. so next time k bi.. next time i send u till ur doorstep again.. heex..

den train hm.. was tinking lahx.. when i give them my ic.. its was okie de.. but now take back its crack de.. boohoo.. dunno wat the hell they do to my ic oso sia.. roarr!!!!! nd to waste money go do new one again le.. but okie lahx.. at least i still get back my ic mahx.. haha.. so yea.. reach hm den msn bibi.. n chatted for quite some time.. was listening to irc hosting oso.. nice nice.. veri long nv listen liaox le.. heex..

den was chatting n watching tv all the way from i reach hm till now lohx.. n bibi wasnt feeling well oso.. she jus went to slp oso.. since she is unwell din wanna talk to long wif her.. jus awhile nia den jiu hang up le.. cos i wan her to go rest early.. sayang bibi.. hugs.. as for now.. after i finish blogging den gus i will still continue chat awhile den go slp bahx.. n gus tml will be a rotting day at hm le.. suppose to mit bibi go out.. but since she isnt feeling well den jiu suan le lohx.. cancel it let her rest at hm.. heex.. c im good lohx.. haha..

n there is some upcoming events coming up soon.. shld update on it when the day comes.. tink tats all le bahx.. will be back again..

fuck up

2007-09-10T11:44:00.000+08:00

feeling so fuck up so pissed off now.. after all i hav put in for tis relationship.. nth still seems to goes rite.. tings said werent done.. den wat for say them if u r not going to do it n jus keep saying i dunno wo bu zhi dao..

all from the first day.. suppose to be our beginning of back to happiness day.. but gus its aint so bahx.. tot everything will slowly change le.. but its still abt the same.. out of all our qns.. wat i hope u will do most is to change the habit of saying ting is one way n doing it the other way u noe.. cos most of the time the problem is u say tings but u aint doing it.. n tats wat i hate most..

den 2nd ting will be talking.. i noe the way u talk to mi r different now.. yes.. i agree.. there is different.. n i can c form ytd nite cal.. i noe u feel like to kup the cal le like how u would do last time but u still din.. tats one ting im veri happy abt.. but the main ting is.. u still like got nth to talk to mi abt nth to ask mi abt.. in the past u will oso find topics to talk abt..but now.. u oways tell mi u dunno ni bu zhi dao.. imagine u were mi how would u free if i everytime oso lidat tell u?

we haven try going out yet.. we still dunno if there will still be problems abt tat mahx.. but i seriously hope there aint any.. n another ting is.. i hope u will put in abit more effort to try to change okie? jus tat little bit more.. i will do my best to try help u change oso de.. but u muz be willing to let mi help den can oso mahx..

n the most most impt ting of all is.. next time pls dun abit abit jiu say den dun be tgt.. there is oways other ways out de.. no nd to lidat den can save the day.. n by saying tis i dunno if u will feel any xin tong anot.. but im feeling it when i listen to it.. if u r going to give it up so easily den all the hard work we hav done tgt will be wasted.. n im not gonna give it up so easily.. i noe sometimes i may keep make noise say tis say tat.. but tats oso cos i dun wanna give up i still wanna try.. try to bear wif mi for tis period of time bahx..

cant slp

2007-09-10T04:06:00.000+08:00

roarr.. i still cant get to slp yet.. but im feeling tired from play game liaox le oso.. haix..

as i said from my previous post.. din do anything else except for play game.. n jus now play maple play till abit sian le so i jiu change ti another game lohx.. play rush for berlin.. haha.. quite a nice game oso lahx.. but play till tuo tong le.. dun wanna play anymore.. gus i will try to slp after tis bahx..

some unhappy tings happen jus now.. haix.. i seriously dunno wat to say anymore liaox le sia.. u said u hav tried ur best.. but seriously i dun feel it at all.. okie.. maybe in some ways u did put in effort le.. i noe i can c.. but do u tink by talking nicely is good enuf to change everything?? no it isnt going to.. other den talking nicely to each other we oso muz hav ting to talk n ask to each other abt mahx.. how can u everytime say i dunno wat to talk n keep ask mi to start a topic.. do u tink tis is fair for mi mahx??

i hav being trying to find topics to talk to u abt..i n hav tried so many time over tis whole period le.. trying to find topics to talk to u abt when u tell mi u dunno wat u wan to talk abt.. u told mi u will play awhile game wif mi den after tat watch show den after play wif mi again.. but did u keep to wat u say?? u jus came in awhile in the morning n poofs.. there u go n nv come back again.. if i nv msn u will u msn mi urself?? u jus went to play game leaving mi waiting for u to reply.. din we say hao le.. if u go play game jus msn mi let mi noe.. so if i wanna find u i noe how to.. but u still din.. u jus went ahead playing wif out saying anything.. does the game rly hav such mei li?? or izzit u cant wait to go hav fun n enjoy ur game wif ur online frens??

i seriously dunno.. the tings tat u said n told mi were all different from wat u do.. do u rly wanna break the trust i hav in u mahx?? muz ting rly go tis way like wat u say.. tings wont change if no one cares to try their best to change it.. u said u tried ur best le.. but i rly dun feel it at all.. even if u r.. r u going to give it up so easily?? i too hav try to change alot abt myself jus bcos of u.. if i can do it y cant u?? its all on whether u r willing to do n sacrifice anot nia..

haix.. u ever told mi b4 u wan to hav lots n lots of mths tgt.. but how r we going to continue wif tings tis way?? when can we ever get back to how we r like in the past.. tings r so different so complicated now.. how i wish it had oways been like the past.. how i wish all tis din not happen.. how i wish there is no anyone else in our lifes.. do u wan mi to be shang xin n xi wang again?? i dunno.. its up to u to decide bahx.. im veri disappointed le..

mapling

2007-09-09T18:34:00.000+08:00

lalalalala..feeling kinda tired liaox le.. cos i hav been mapling for the whole day liaox le.. haha..

currently at my auntie hse using my bro de com.. cos my hse de lappy veri lag den canot use top play maple.. so jiu come his hse play lohx.. anyway i oso got nth much to do at hm oso mahx.. haha.. woke up so early in the morning today to come over to his hse.. haha.. den play le whole day.. feeling so tired le sia..

now waiting for dinner.. den after dinner will play another game for awhile den gus after tat im gonna continue back wif maple.. cos i got x2.. bibi buy for mi de.. shall not waste it.. heex.. n now dunno wanna do wat so i jiu come blog blog abit lohx.. heex..

n bibi.. next time anything jiu tell mi k.. dun keep keep keep.. not good oh.. den i canot hong ni or duo ni if u nv tell mi mahx.. dui bu dui.. heex.. gus tats all for now le bahx.. got more ting to update den i update again nor.. :)

yu guo tian qing

2007-09-08T23:23:00.000+08:00

back here for a new post as request.. n here im le lohx.. but short short nia lahx.. cos got nth much to say oso.. jus continue from the previous post bahx..

like i hav said.. din enjoy the day out today at all.. cos alot of tings happen mahx.. but den got hm n talk wif bibi abt tat.. den we jiu rly starting everything rite from the beginning again le bahx.. n jus let her hav some time to change back to her normal last time de her bahx.. but like i say liaox le.. bi cant take to long okie.. cos we hav limited time to do tis nia.. n once our relationship is back on track again.. jiu dun let it ever derail again le k..

once we go back to wat we were like in the past.. den i would expect bibi to play lesser game n pei mi more like the past liaox le.. game is still can play.. but jus dun over do it n get urself too in the game like tat time lidat jiu can le.. cos i dun like the bibi tat is oways so into the game de.. i like de bibi is last time everytime oso pei wo.. got any problem jiu will first one tell mi n not someone else.. even if u cant say oso will sms tell mi de.. okie??

n rember wat u told mi rite.. u say jus play play onli oh.. dun get too serious okie.. i not dun trust u.. is scare later too serious den later we got even more problem.. n i dun wan anymore problems le.. cos we hav got enuf problems liaox le.. n oso i dun wan to got another rival.. ;x heex.. so like wat i told u jus now.. once we say the ting tat we will do.. we jiu muz do it.. canot here say do den after tat jiu forget everything abt it le k.. u noe i dun like ppl lidat de.. someone is u.. even more canot.. unless u wanna break my heart again den i jiu got nth to say le lohx..

so yea.. hope everything from now on will get better n better n better.. till it gets to like last time lidat okie.. n one more ting.. since i already noe liaox le.. den next time if he sms u.. can bibi promise mi not to scare scare n hide from mi like scare let mi c lidat okie.. u scare scare hide hide i will feel even more pek chek de.. cos if someone got nth wrong den he/she shld be guang ming zhen da de do the ting.. n i jiu wont feel so pei wei seah le.. hao mahx??

den if one day we rly can walk the red carpet tgt bibi jiu rly canot hav all tis ting le oh.. jiu muz stop all tis le k.. but of cos is still can be frens nahx.. heex.. bleahs.. awaiting for tat special day to come.. i noe its still a long way to go.. but i strongly believe n trust tat we will hav tat day tgt if we can even overcome all tis obstacles de.. rite bibi?? hugs.. heart u lots.. dun ever break my heart again k.. <3

unhappy n disappointed abt myself

2007-09-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

jus finish my dinner.. but i din eat much though.. got no wei kou.. jus ate 1 chicken wing n afew mouth of rice n tats it.. n here im blogging again le.. feeling so useless rite now.. its like as though i cant ever do anything well at all.. haix..

woke up tis morning n prep n waited for bi to come over.. finally she came over at ard 12+.. den slack awhile jiu went out liaox le.. was okie at the start de.. den walk to my auntie shop there to eat her fav porridge.. while eating was talking abt where to go work at after i ord.. was feeling so fed up after tat.. so my expression wasnt veri nice.. while on the way to town bi saw my hand got some injury.. n she insist tat something is wrong when i already told her i oso dunno how come will lidat.. thus leading to some unhappiness..

reach ps den tings were better le bahx i tink.. but its onli for awhile.. but den found out tat bi din bring out the movie ticket.. was like making a waste trip there.. den bi say wanna go buy donut.. but half way you suddenly say dun wan buy le.. cos she was asking mi how far we hav to walk to suntec.. but i rly dunno the distance how do i ans u?? is not i wanna shoot u or i dun wanna tell u.. its cos i rly dunno so i cant tell u.. n u urself got walk b4 le.. u shld arga arga noe mahx.. n tis started the second part of our unhappiness..

so i jiu ask her again where she wanna go again.. den she keep say dunno.. haix.. i rly cant tink of any places le tats y i will ask u.. not i purposely wanna ask u de.. den the way she ans mi wat like so unhappy.. jiu jitao say go hm.. i noe my tone wasnt veri good to u oso.. im sorry abt tat.. but i was unhappy is cos the tone u use to reply mi.. n another ting was tat.. its jus like we jus come out for lunch nia den jiu go hm liaox le.. haix.. tat was y..

in the past u would still give mi ideas on where to go.. but not anymore.. i dunno y oso.. thus making mi feel so fed up so useless.. cos i cant seem to make u feel happy at all.. n oso cant seem to bring u out like in the past anymore.. its totally diff from wat we say we would do ytd.. wasnt feeling veri good while on our way to tamp oso.. but i was jus keeping it all to myself n keep disturb her jus to try forgeting abt it.. but i cant.. after we reach tamp n she went off.. the feeling jus came back..

its seems like i cant avoid it anyway.. so i jiu slowly took a train back.. went all the way to boon lay n den back hm.. my mind was kept so busy tinking of all those ting.. den slowly walk hm.. took longer den usual for mi to walk all the way to reach hm.. den come hm jiu msn bi tell her le.. cos i dun wanna keep anythings from her.. i dunno wat the outcome will be like anyway.. but i jus wanna let her noe.. how i wish nth has ever change n we r still like wat we r in the past.. but tings aint lidat anymore.. its alot more complicated den ever b4.. gus its gonna be hard to change the fact tat tings r rly different now le..

as for now.. i dunno wat im gonna do next liaox le.. still feeling so emo so useless.. gus im gonna stone for the nite le bahx.. gones..

bad start for a day

2007-09-07T19:44:00.001+08:00

back to blogging again.. as usual lahx.. blog blog blog.. nth to do den jiu blog.. sianx..

started off wif a veri bad day.. woke up ard 9+ 10 lidat.. den waited for bi to cal mi or sms mi.. but waited till abt 11 le den bi say she jus wake up jus wanna go bathe onli.. den tink maybe is the way i ask her qns bahx.. den she says im so bu nai fan.. keep telling her i din i nv im not.. but she still keeps insist tat im.. n den everything jiu started liaox le..

had a bad bad quarrel tis morning.. till abt afternoon lidat.. n we settle everything today once n for all.. saying out all our unhappiness wif each other.. n i gus i hav say out all my unhappiness abt her bahx.. din wanna say out de.. n somemore some of it was already the past le.. but i jiu shi dunno y once i start saying den i jiu continue non stop liaox le.. feel kinda bad after saying her all those tings.. den everything ended wif bi giving a solution to start afresh.. back from the start..

actually suppose to mit de.. btu cos of all tat den jiu nv mit liaox le.. hope after today everything jiu will rly be back to normal le bahx.. n wat u told mi today.. i rly hope u rly can do wat u told mi.. dun say say le den jiu forget n go do some other tings.. can u mahx? bu yao zai rang wo shi wang le hao mahx..

den after tat continue my day wif watching show n chatting in irc lohx.. not much ppl is inside irc oso lahx.. so most of the time is watching my show lohx.. n bi went to rest ard 5+ lidat.. so continue watch my show again.. got nth much to do for the whole day today oso lahx.. now waiting for dinner.. den gus after dinner going to watch tv or wat bahx.. den c tonite bi wanna talk mahx.. if wan den talk.. if you dun wan again den jiu stone again le lohx.. cos got nth to do..

emo post

2007-09-07T00:56:00.000+08:00

lalalala.. m im back here again.. feeling so emo out of a sudden.. i dunno y oso.. i kinda dun understand myself anymore.. its kinda not myself anymore.. the last time de mi wont lidat de.. no matter wat happens i can still smile still laugh like as if nth happens.. but now i cant le.. i cant smile.. i cant laugh.. i cant do anything anymore.. its like im a fei ren lidat..

maybe is the song bahx.. wo bu xiang wang ji ni.. its a nice song.. but if u read the lyrics well n understand them.. its quite a sad song bahx.. hav been listening to it since i got it in my itune.. repeat repeat n repeat.. listen till my tears oso flow down again le.. i dunno y oso.. jus automatic de.. how i wish i could noe y im lidat tis few days.. but i jus simply dunno y.. i cant tink anymore..

n glad to noe tat u 2 r okie le.. n tink u seems better oso le bahx.. tis afternoon after the ting u seem so shang xin so zai hu.. gus he too stands some part in u too bahx.. nvm bahx.. dun wish to talk anything abt tis anymore le..

dunno wat im gonna do again tonite.. tink as usual for the past few days bahx.. slowly cry myself to slp.. yea.. tats all le.. dunno wat to say liaox le..

boring day

2007-09-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

din do anything much today oso lahx.. as usual.. wake up ard 11 lidat.. den waited for bi to sms or cal mi.. but end up she cal oso.. cos she slp till 12+ den wake up.. she suppose to come over de.. but due to her so late den wake up den jiu nv come liaox le..

was feeling abit erm.. i dunno how to discribe tat feeling lahx.. its those kinda mixed up feelings.. but den nvm bahx.. nv tink abt it den after awhile jiu okie le.. as usual im bored.. cos got nth for mi to do at hm oso.. den end up i go make small changes on my blog n frenster.. followed by uploading songs into imeem.. den jiu got nth much to do le..

afternoon something happen n bi seems so sad.. although i not sure wat exactly it is.. but nvm bahx.. if she is willing to tell mi den let her tell mi herself.. i dun wanna ask anything more den tat.. den continue watch my show n all.. zhong ji yi ban.. watch 4 episodes today.. still got long way to go lahx.. but nvm.. i got alot of time to do tat.. haha.. waited till my dad came hm n hav dinner.. told him to buy back for mi n i pay him back.. din wanna owe them anything.. i noe it sound wierd bahx.. but i jiu shi dun wanna owe them anything.. so yea..

oh ya.. dunno y.. din hav much wei kou to eat tis few days.. i oso dunno y im lidat.. nvm bahx.. hope my wei kou comes back soon.. after dinner continue watch tv.. jus got back to com nia.. den went to read bi de blog.. she say she wasnt feel good today.. got alot of thoughs running thru her mind.. but i ask her she onli jus say bu zhi dao.. haix.. i jus cant seem to noe wat she is tinking n feeling.. wo zhen mei yong.. nvm bahx.. when u feel like telling mi den tell mi bahx.. if not den jiu nvm.. its okie wif mi de..

not gonna continue go watch show le.. gonna take a break for today.. gus for now im gonna go chat n dl some new songs bahx.. bye..